Undone
by mywordismystery
Summary: Albus comes out to surprisingly positive reactions. His ex-boyfriend Scorpius, popular, Quidditch-playing, and attractive, remains in the closet. Will this change as Al becomes increasingly well-liked? Will Scorpius realize his mistakes and change for the better? Albus/Scorpius, Albus/OC, Scorpius/OC. In progress. Updates every week.
1. Chapter 1

Albus lay on his bed in the Ravenclaw dorm. It was mid afternoon, the sun was shining through the windows, and the leaves hadn't even started to turn yellow yet. His thin arms were thrown over his face and he looked miserable. Rose Weasley walked in and sat on next to him.

"I heard shouting," she said softly. "Trouble in paradise?"

He grunted affirmatively. "If you can even still call it that. He won't tell his parents, and that means we can't tell, like, anybody. And it's making me miserable. I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. I need to tell people. And I don't know why I can't just live with it, Rosie." His arms fell off of his eyes and he stared up at his cousin with pleading wire-rimmed green eyes.

She touched his hair gently. "Al, you know it's his choice."

He groaned and rolled away from her. "I know. That's what everybody says. But nobody gets that it affects me, too. I can't come out because then everybody will know that he's gay, too. Because we're so close."

She lay down beside him and the two stared at the ceiling together.

"Al, I hate to say this, but you can't force him to come out. You need to decide whether or not Scorpius is more important to you than being open with this part of yourself."

They lay in silence for a while, Albus grateful for Rose's calming presence beside him.

She glanced over, barely daring to move. He was asleep, so she stood up quietly and left.

His eyes opened and stared at Scorpius's bed beside his for a long time. He didn't go down to dinner.

-o-

By the time Scorpius Malfoy and Michael Blaxley returned from Quidditch practice that evening, Albus's curtains were already closed. Scorpius pointedly didn't look at the bed where the slim boy lay quietly. The two boys put away their brooms and left. Michael slung his arm casually around Scorpius's neck as they walked away joking quietly. "What's up with him?" asked Michael as they left the doorframe. Albus couldn't hear Scorpius's answer.

The two boys descended the stairs to the Ravenclaw common room. Their hair was still wet from the showers after Quidditch, and they slung themselves casually over the couches. Michael's girlfriend, Maegan Burkes, walked over and set beside them. A few of their friends walked over. "Where's Albus?" asked Lena Farley, a petite girl with dark eyes.

"Sleeping," Michael said before Scorpius could. "He's upstairs. Right, Scorp?"

Scorpius nodded. He felt badly about their argument before.

"Good," Lena smiled as she tucked herself into Scorpius's side. He tightened his arm around her. He knew his close relationship with Albus gave rise to many rumors, and he couldn't have those getting back to his parents. She pulled her feet up and leaned into him.

Albus had never really seemed to fit into Scorpius's group of friends. He and Rose had always seemed to be their own sect within it, a quiet, studious pair even for Ravenclaws. Scorpius knew well that they only were permitted in his group because of Albus and Scorpius's "friendship." He sighed. He missed Albus, even though it had only been a few hours.

"How was practice?" Maegan asked, breaking into Scorpius's train of thought.

"Brilliant!" Michael stood up with the force of his exclamation. "You should have seen Scorp, Maegan. I swear, he's five times as good as Gryffindor's keeper. Definitely going to be captain next year. Didn't let a single shot get even close to the goalposts this time, not even when Marie and Kate did the Mercury-Taryen Flip."

"Ooh, what's that?" Lena blinked up at Scorpius.

"So Marie has the Quaffle, right? And she reverse passes it to Kate, who does a backward flip and while she's upside down, she lets go and Marie hits it in. I mean, they don't do it at the speed that Kevin Mercury and Louisa Taryen from the Stonewall Stormers—Canadians, of course—do, but it's still a highly advanced move. I mean, they used it in the North American Quidditch Cup Finals against the Finches, and got in what, thirty points from that move alone? It's brilliant. And Scorp saved it, every time. We're definitely going to win the cup this year." He paused, his overwhelming excitement dissipating suddenly. That is, if we could find someone to replace Ovian."

The other fifth-years nodded solemnly. It was a well-known fact that Trevor Ovian was a horrible Seeker. He was built like the Slytherin Beaters, but he had been the only one to try out for the position.

"Merlin, I don't think we're going to win a single game this year with him, do you Scorp?"

Scorpius shook his head. "Not with that prat Seeking. He couldn't catch it if it was sitting on his nose."

Kate and Marie joined the group. "Who are we talking about? Ovian?" the red-headed Kate asked.

Scorpius nodded. "Idiot," he smirked.

Michael flung himself back down onto the couch next to Maegan. "Too bad Potter's nothing like his father. We could use a Seeker like Harry Potter."

Scorpius nodded again, but didn't respond. He wished they knew that Albus could, in fact, Seek. Quite well, actually. He just didn't want to be known for that, preferring to be remembered for his excellent grades. Plus, he was scared that if he joined the Quidditch team and then came out as gay, everybody would be scared of him.

Marie blinked. "We should recruit him. No way he can be worse than Ovian. It would give you time to spend with your boyfriend, Scorp."

Scorpius froze. _Boyfriend?_ Did she know? Had Albus told her?

The rest of the group laughed, and Scorpius relaxed slightly. He carefully directed the topic away from Albus Severus Potter.

That night, when Scorpius walked into the bedroom with Michael and their other roommates, he noticed that Albus was still apparently asleep. He sighed. He would have liked to talked to Al, to apologize. He checked carefully to make sure that nobody around him could hear, and then whispered softly, "Goodnight, Al." He didn't hear a sound from inside the curtains.

-o-

The next morning at dawn, Albus woke up to the sun's rays filtering through the blue drapes on the windows. His blond boyfriend had left his curtains open, and he stared unabashedly at his muscular body for a minute. This might be his last chance. He had thought hard last night, and had decided that he couldn't live with himself anymore. He still wanted to talk to James, though. He hoped his brother would be at breakfast.

Surprisingly, he was. Just past seven thirty, James and his girlfriend Elizabeth Washington walked into the hall to sit at the Gryffindor table. Albus treaded gingerly over to the Gryffindor table and sat beside them. The Dining Hall on Saturday morning was blissfully empty.

"Al!" James said, surprised. Albus rarely was awake this early. He slept in most days.

"Good morning, Albus," Elizabeth said in her American accent. Albus had always found it ironic how she was American and yet her name was the British Queen's and her state—Virginia—had been so obviously named after an earlier one. In that sense, she was more English than he was.

"Morning," he responded. "Jamie, can I talk to you for a second?"

James nodded. "Sure. Elizabeth, can you give us a minute?"

The girl stood up and kissed James's cheek. "Sure, Jamie."

"Actually," Albus interjected. "Actually, would you mind staying?"

Elizabeth smiled kindly at him. Al had always liked her. She and Jamie had been together since fourth year, and there were rumors he would ask her to marry him in a few years. She was practically part of the Potter family already.

"What's up, Al?" James prompted. "Um, Rosie told me that you and Scorp fought last night."

Albus nodded. Elizabeth looked annoyed. She poked her boyfriend sharply. "You didn't tell me! Oh, Al. Is everything okay with Scorpius? Is this about coming out?"

Albus looked surprised, although he shouldn't have. Elizabeth had always been shockingly perceptive about these things. She, after all, had known he and Scorpius had liked each other before either of them had even guessed.

"I think…" he stumbled over his words, knowing he had to force them out. They felt like rocks in his throat, crushing his windpipe with every syllable. "I think I should break up with him."

James's eyebrows shot up. "With Scorpius? The bloke looks like someone's died when he's away from you for more than five minutes. You're not worried that he's, I don't know, cheating on you or something? Or doesn't love you or something anymore?"

Albus shook his head. "No, nothing like that. I know he loves me, and I love him, but… I need to come out. And he won't. So we can't be together anymore."

Elizabeth squeezed his hand across the table. Her dark skin was such a contrast to Scorpius's pale hand, Albus thought. Although he couldn't really remember the last time Scorpius had held his hand; mostly, they just sat together. Scorpius seemed to be afraid that someone would see them even when the door was locked and they were alone. He barely even touched Albus casually anymore.

James's forehead wrinkled and his eyes looked sad. "If that's what you want, Al. You know we'll support you anyway. I don't care if everyone turns their back on you, we'll always be there for you. You're my brother, and everyone who doesn't like that can fuck themselves."

"James Sirius Potter!"

"Sorry, love. But seriously, Al. I'll be there for you, even if Scorpius won't. Okay?"

Albus looked somewhat comforted.

"Me, too, of course, Albus. I know we're not related—yet" Elizabeth grinned. "But you're my little brother. I'll deal with anyone who tries to cross you. Us Potters and Co. must stick together, don't we?" Despite her soft-spoken charm, she was shockingly vicious to anyone who went against her. She reminded Albus a lot of his Aunt Hermione in that way.

James nodded. "We're your family, Al. If breaking up with Scorpius will make you happier in the long run, you should follow your instinct. I love you no matter what, okay, Al?"

Albus nodded. He knew his brother loved him, but it was still nice to hear.

"Jamie? Will you tell Lily? I don't want to talk to her about it." Lily had never liked Scorpius. She would probably tell Albus that she had known all along that the blond was no good. Albus couldn't hear that right then.

"Sure. You should probably go talk to Scorpius, Al. There's no sense, really, in putting it off further."

Albus nodded sadly. He knew James was right. He stood up, released Elizabeth's hand, and set off to the Ravenclaw tower.

-o-

"Albus! There you are!" Scorpius beckoned the fifth-year boy forward when he entered the Common Room. He looked around, and whispered, "I don't think there's anyone around right now." He stood up and hugged his boyfriend tightly. "I love you, you know that?" He glanced up, and planted a quick kiss on Al's lips. "I'm sorry we fought. Wait, is everything okay?" He looked concerned at the sad look in Al's eyes.

"Scorpius, we need to talk. Now."

Scorpius sobered quickly at the look on Al's face. "Okay, what's wrong?" He brushed Al's unruly hair back from his green eyes.

"There's not really an easy way to say this, Scorpius, but—"

"Albus! It was only one fight!" Despite his indignant tone, Scorpius already looked torn apart, like he knew what Al was going to say.

"No, Scorpius. It was many fights. And it's an issue that's not going to go away. We need—"

"Don't say it," Scorpius whispered. "I can make it up to you. I'll try harder. I'll do whatever you want me to. I don't want to lose you. I love you."

"Scorpius, you don't love me. You love the idea of me, of having a boyfriend, of having a secret. You don't love me like I love you. But that's not what's important. What's important is that I, I _need_ to come out. I can't live like this anymore. You can, and that's your choice. But I need to be open with this part of me. I'm not going to let you stop me anymore. I love you, but I need to put myself first this one time."

Scorpius looked broken. Albus could see tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "Don't do this to me, Albus. I _do_ love you. You'll see. I'll change. I'll be a better boyfriend. I love you, you know that. I really do."

Albus shook his head silently, his eyes sad but dry. "This is for me, not for you, Scorpius. My life needs to be about me right now."

"Everybody will hate you if you come out," Scorpius whispered fiercely. "Just be safe, with me."

"Not everybody. Rosie won't hate me. Jamie and Elizabeth won't hate me. My family won't hate me. And that, Scorpius, is all who matter to me. My family, not you, not Michael or the Quidditch team or pretty little Lena." He felt badly for making the jab about Lena, but couldn't bring himself to take it back. "Scorpius, it's over. I'm not your boyfriend anymore, and today, I'm going to be open with who I am. I'm sorry if it's sudden. It is. It has to be. Hate me if you want. Tell all of your friends and your girlfriend that you hate me. It's okay. I forgive you." He stood up and pressed a kiss to the top of Scorpius's head. "I'm leaving now. I'm going for a walk. I would say I'm sorry, Scorpius, but I'm not. Good bye."

Scorpius clutched at his hand. "Don't leave me, Albus."

Albus extracted his hand from Scorpius's grip and left the room without looking back.

-o-

Scorpius had a miserable day. He hid in his room until after classes were over, telling Michael to inform the professors that he was sick. Michael looked concerned, but agreed. He made Scorpius promise to join them in the Common Room later that night, however.

He had plans to do a lot of homework, which backfired when he read over his Transfigurations Essay and discovered it read, "Vanishing glass is a particularly difficult form of life when people just leave because the caster must both Vanish the hardened glass and also the sand from which it was burned and also the sand from which it was formed." He shook his head. Clearly, his thoughts were far away from the subject. He corrected the sentence, and grimaced at the thought of having to practically redo the entire essay. He glanced down the foot-long parchment and groaned audibly when he realized that halfway down, tears had started to ruin his careful print and he had begun to just write Albus over and over again. Casting a quick _Tempus_ charm, he decided it was time to join Michael in the Common Room. Albus was likely to be returning to the quiet dormitory to do his homework soon.

To Scorpius's great relief, his now ex-boyfriend was nowhere to be found, and neither was his auburn-haired cousin. He opened his arms for Lena, who cooed in his ear that she had missed him _all day_. Nobody seemed to care that Albus was again absent from their gathering as they laughed.

Rose entered the Common Room quietly. She met Scorpius's eyes, and they both glanced away quickly. She grinned to herself. The prat had no idea what was coming.

Not five minutes after the witch entered, the Ravenclaw door opened again, and Albus entered. He walked over to the table where Scorpius and his friends were sitting, climbed up on the table (much to everyone's shock), and waited for silence. The talented wizard performed a quick Microphone charm and announced to the dead silent room loudly and clearly, "I'm gay. Talk amongst yourselves." He and Rosie left the Common Room quickly, clearly holding back peals of laughter.

The second they were gone, Michael laughed uproariously. "You owe me ten Galleons, Mae!" His comment broke the silence over the room, and it seemed like several bets had been decided by Albus's comment.

Maegan laughed. "So I do." She kissed her boyfriend hard. "I guess you're more of a Ravenclaw than I am, babe."

"Or maybe more of a Slytherin. I discover secrets, my dear. Is there anything you're keeping from me?" They laughed together.

It seemed as if Scorpius was the only one stunned. There were several people who were disgusted, but Michael's comment appeared to be enough to dispel any thoughts that Ravenclaw would not be accepting. He was popular, respected, smart and athletic, so his word and Maegan's were essentially law in the Ravenclaw hierarchy. But the last thing Scorpius would have expected Albus to do was to come out in such a blunt manner as that.

"You guys don't find it… a little… gross?" he ventured.

"Well, obviously," Michael responded. "I don't want a dick up my arse, but if that's his cup of tea I suppose he's welcome to it."

Maegan looked interested. "Wait, do you think that's why he never signed up for Quidditch? He always looked like he would be good to me."

Despite their disparaging comments on Albus's behalf just yesterday, the rest of Scorpius's friends seemed to want to support him. "We should encourage him to sign up. We need to let him know it's cool whoever he sleeps with."

Scorpius couldn't believe his ears. Albus wasn't just tolerated, he was actually suddenly more popular than before. Even Lena squealed, "Oh my god, I hope he has a boyfriend! They would be so cute! I wonder what he looks like. I bet he's as adorable as Albus is. Let's go talk to him!"

She and Maegan stood up and rushed up the stairs.

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "Girls," he grumbled.

"I think it's cute," Kris Varr said, one of the Ravenclaw Beaters. "They're like in love with him or something. It happened to my cousin Jakob when he came out, actually. He goes to Durmstrang, which is way more Conservative. A lot of the blokes were practically pissing themselves worrying he was going to check them out, but the girls were beyond thrilled. Couldn't figure out why, myself. He changed things there, though. A bunch of kids came out after him."

Scorpius hadn't known that Kris had a gay cousin.

-o-

The next day, Michael, Kate, Marie, Kris, Charlie Danzer, the second Beater and Josh Amberson, the third Chaser, sought out Albus. They wanted to encourage the slim boy to try out for Seeker. Scorpius hadn't wanted to come.

They found him in the library, reading with Rose Weasley.

"Hey, Albus," Charlie Danzer, the Captain poked his shoulder gently. "Excuse me, Rose." Rose hadn't known the seventh-year knew her name. He sat down across the table from Albus, and the rest of the team, except Trevor Ovian and Scorpius, filled in the empty seats around them. "Sorry if this is a bit awkward. But, um, the team and I were talking last night, and we discussed the possible reasons that you might have not tried out for the Ravenclaw team. We thought that maybe, if you were willing, we might have a second tryout for Seekers. You and Trevor Ovian, and I guess anybody else who wanted to take a shot would do it. So, what do you say, man? Are you up for it? We thought you should have a fair chance, seeing as you might have had… personal… reasons for… you know." He trailed off awkwardly, but grinned widely at Scorpius.

"Plus, you know, it's a good chance for people to see that we don't judge here at Hogwarts," Marie interjected.

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Albus had to agree with Marie's somewhat selfish comment. He did like Seeking at home, and not being ostracized had been one of the reasons that he hadn't tried out. He didn't want to be in the spotlight, but he supposed that by coming out, he had inevitably claimed it as his. Sharing a quick glance with Rose, who was shocked, he nodded. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Nah, man," said Kris Varr. "My cousin's gay, you know. He's one of the coolest blokes I know."

Albus smiled. "Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to the lovely and talented J.K. Rowling. Would that I had her brilliant mind. Anything else likely belongs to me. Please review! Also, if you would like to beta, please contact me!

Thank you to Linda for her lovely review and to crazycatlady 149 for her somewhat confusing one.

Chapter 2

By Monday morning, it seemed like everybody had heard that Albus Severus liked blokes. Almost half of the school proclaimed loudly that they had "always known," or that it should have been obvious because of his slim physique. "He's never had a girlfriend, anyway," they whispered.

Lena and Maegan, who hadn't been able to talk to Al due to the locked door after his announcement, sat with him at breakfast that morning. Lena gave him a hug. "Oh my god," she said. "We _so_ have to give you a makeover."

Maegan agreed. "We'll help you get a boyfriend. Don't worry, we're experienced." She smiled winningly at him.

Al wondered if he should tell them that he was already in love with someone else, but he was too afraid that they would squeal again in his ear.

"So," Lena interrupted his train of thought. "Got your eye on anyone? I have really good gaydar. I can probably help you get someone."

Al doubted she knew about Scorpius. She had been trying to seduce him for months, after all. He considered sharing that tidbit with her for a laugh. He knew Scorpius would never forgive him, though.

"Mae, isn't this weekend Hogsmeade? We should go as a group and go shopping!"

Albus decided that even if this was not really the attention he wanted, it was still a lot better than what he had before. Now, he wasn't just Scorpius's weirdly quiet best friend. He was his own person, even if he was now "the gay kid."

He smiled and nodded his agreement, pushing his fork back into his omelet as Maegan and Lena decided precisely what they would do.

-o-

QUIDDITCH SEEKER TRYOUTS

Friday, September 28 at 4:30 PM

Anybody in Ravenclaw House may try out. Sign up on the list below.

Albus scripted his name under Calvin Bath and Calista Otter. He was surprised that anybody else had signed up, considering that only Trevor Ovian had at the beginning of the year. Maybe they had tried out for a different position, he mused. Suddenly he heard a commotion behind him. Ovian had sharp eyes, even if he was slow.

"What the fuck does that mean? I got the position!" He lumbered over to the sign up sheet, shoving Albus rather rudely to the side.

Kate, the redheaded Chaser, was watching the list nearby. She stood up and faced Ovian, who was at least a head taller than her and twice as wide as her, despite her athletic build. "Back off, Ovian. You only got the position because you were the only one who tried out. We're holding fairer trials this time. Sign up if you want on the team, otherwise you're off. It's not your decision; it's Charlie's. He has the right to hold tryouts whenever he wants, and you know it. Back off. You're hurting Albus, anyway."

"Potter? The gay kid?" Ovian noticed that Al was standing practically underneath him, gripping the quill for the sign-up sheet. He looked apologetic. "Sorry, man." He snatched the quill from Albus anyway, and carved his name into the sheet. He stood up and walked away, glaring back at Kate.

"You okay, Albus?"

Albus nodded, a little shaken but also indignant. He didn't need a girl to look after him. He could do that himself.

Scorpius had watched the entire exchange from his seat on the navy blue couch. He wondered if he should have interfered.

-o-

Wednesday dawned with three new occurences. First, Scorpius was greeted with a letter. He recognized his mother's handwriting.

_Dear Scorpius,  
We have heard the news about your friend Albus Severus Potter's apparent homosexuality. We encourage you to discuss his rash decision to make this known with him. Homosexuality is often just a phase, but in the slight possibility that it is not, we would suggest you distance yourself from him. We would not want your friend's problem to diminish the high standing of the Malfoy name._

_Your loving parents,_

Here was an illegible script and a tangled mess that Scorpius knew were his mother's and father's signatures. He sighed. A second letter had been thrust into the envelope as well.

_Dear Scorpius,_

_Your mother and I love you regardless of how you react to Albus's homosexuality. I am thankful, however, that it did not happen to you. While I have nothing against homosexuality, I am certain that it is harder to grow up in a world where people like that are silenced. I would not want that for my son._

_Your father,_

And the tangled mess that was his father's signature appeared again.

Scorpius pushed his scrambled eggs around the plate. He knew his parents meant well, but they clearly hadn't thought about how they might affect him. He missed Albus and his comforting warmth.

Second, the word was passed around that Kaelyn Headen had come out as bisexual. Michael had been thrilled about this, enough to get a hard slap from Maegan and an angry tirade about how Headen's bisexuality didn't mean that she would be interested in him. Michael avoided his angry girlfriend for a while after that. "I'm scared of her, man," he confided to Scorpius. "She's always right. It's terrifying." Despite the words, his tone rang of awe.

"Michael, you're gone," laughed Scorpius. Privately, he thought that Michael's feelings for Maegan paled in comparison to his own for Albus. He hadn't known how much he would miss the dark-haired boy's mere presence.

The third occurrence terrified Scorpius. He heard from Lena that Daniel Gaither, a sixth-year Gryffindor, had talked to Albus for nearly an hour the night before. He had long guessed that Daniel was gay, and it scared him that he and Albus had talked for so long last night. His fears were only amplified when, during lunch, Daniel sat with Albus at the Ravenclaw table. Lena squealed loudly, and Scorpius felt his stomach drop. Was that what jealousy felt like? He hoped not. It was awful.

-o-

Finally, the sun rose on Friday's gray skies. Scorpius thought, rather accurately, that it reflected his mood. He was sure Albus would make the Quidditch team, which meant that he would have to spend hours every Friday afternoon with his ex-boyfriend. Not to mention, said ex-boyfriend would be clothed in the tight fitting Quidditch gear. Scorpius didn't know how he would handle it. He guessed he wouldn't be able to.

Albus woke up in the bed across from him. He noticed Scorpius was awake and moving, and so stayed as still as possible. He watched his boyfriend through the gauzy curtains, watching as his muscular shape stretched, then climbed out of bed. He wondered why Scorpius had to be so good-looking. Scorpius shrugged on a T-shirt and pulled on his jeans before throwing on a robe. Albus forced himself to look away. Looking at his ex-boyfriend couldn't possibly be the best ingredient for a clean breakup. He allowed his thoughts to wander towards Dan Gaither. He smiled.

-o-

On Tuesday, Dan had somehow convinced a Ravenclaw to let him into the Common Room. He was a Gryffindor, and a year older at that. Al was rather embarrassed when he entered, actually—Al had been chatting with Rosie, and the dorm room was hot, so he hadn't worn a shirt. He had been lying on his back on the bed with his cousin. Al hoped that Dan hadn't been too turned off by his half-bare body. He didn't exactly have a six-pack like Scorpius had.

Rosie saw the look on Dan's face, mumbled a quiet "hi," and quickly walked out.

"Um, hi," said Albus awkwardly.

"Hey. Er, can I sit there?" Dan pointed at Rosie's vacated spot on the bed next to Albus. At Al's nod, he sat. "So, how have you been?"

"Er, good, I suppose." Al felt compelled to add, "And you?"

"Better since I heard about what happened in your Common Room on Saturday."

Al blinked. He didn't know what he had expected—he didn't think he had ever exchanged so much as a word with Dan Gaither—but he definitely had not guessed that the boy sitting next to him would be so blunt. Gryffindors, he supposed. James was rather blunt. "You must be wondering why I'm here," Dan interrupted Al's train of thoughts, running his hand through his artfully tousled brown hair. "And I know this is kind of awkward, since we've never really talked that much before, so I don't know how to say this, but I'm going to be honest—I'm a Gryffindor, of course, so I might as well try to be brave. I've had a crush on you for a while now, and, er. Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

Al fought the urge to glance around the room for somebody else, certain Dan Gaither hadn't been talking to him. He had never been asked out by anybody—he had been the one to ask Scorpius. And he was pretty sure his now ex-boyfriend only said yes because he was the only gay boy Scorpius knew, not because he actually liked Al. Scorpius had never been one to show much affection anyway.

He looked back at Dan Gaither, who was staring at him with earnest eyes. "Why?"

Dan grinned indulgently. "I just told you, Albus. I like you."

"No, I heard that, I'm not deaf. I mean, why me?"

"For starters, you're smart. I like intelligence; it's sexy. Also, you're quiet and kind, but you stick up for people, like that second-year Gryffindor, Christopher, a few weeks ago. You know, when your friend Scorpius was rude to him. And," he smirked, "it doesn't hurt that you're bloody fit."

Al couldn't conceal his confusion. He didn't have any muscle tone at all, and felt like a sack of bones most days. It wasn't that he was overweight, just skinny like his father. He did have Harry Potter's build.

"So, will you?"

Al, despite himself, felt pleased. Here was a boy, a rather cute one too, with his piercing blue eyes, tall build, and stylish brown hair, asking him out. Asking _him_ out. He nodded. "Yes, I'll go to Hogsmeade with you. On one condition."

"Yeah?"

"My name's Al, not Albus."

"That I can do." Dan stood up. "I'll see you Saturday, then. Eleven? I'll pick you up outside your Common Room." When Al smiled at him, he leaned down and, to Al's great surprise, kissed him on the cheek.

When Rosie reentered the room, demanding details, he was still dreamily touching the spot on his cheek.

-o-

Al dressed and attempted, uselessly, to comb his hair. He rushed down to breakfast a little later than he had hoped to. He sat with Rosie, who was just finishing her fruit, and started shoving scrambled eggs down his throat. Michael and a few others pushed down to sit with him and his auburn-haired cousin.

"Hey, Albus, ready for tryouts today?" Michael grinned.

Al nodded. His mouth burned and he reached for a glass of pumpkin juice, gulping it down.

"Wait, Michael is it Friday already?" Meagan asked, sitting down with Lena. Both girls were late to breakfast as usual.

"Hey, babe. Haven't you been keeping track of the days? Your new best friend here has his hot date tomorrow, as you've been telling me constantly."

Lena and Meagan had been incredibly understanding of his need to push back their shopping date. They had demanded, however, that they be allowed to help him get ready Saturday morning.

Al almost wished Michael hadn't brought it up, but he didn't. Scorpius was sitting with the group, and he was clearly upset. Al felt a little shiver of something run through him at Scorpius's expression. Besides, the excited smiles on Lena and Meagan's faces were contagious.

"Yeah, it's tomorrow," he said, unable to hide a little smile. He glanced behind him at the Gryffindor table and saw Dan looking at him. He flushed and turned back around.

"I think it's _looooove_," Lena sang in a teasing tone. She and Meagan started singing the popular new Witches of the West song, and the rest of the group, even Rosie, joined in, laughing. Al hid his burning face, but secretly he was pleased. Never before had the Ravenclaws paid so much attention to him.

"I think it's love," they sang off-key. "I think it's meant to be. I think I'm meant for you, and you're meant for me. It may be hard, but I'm not letting go, because we're meant to be, baby, just say hello." They collapsed in laughter.

"Oh my god, he's looking at you, Albus. He's smiling. He's so in love with you."

Al groaned, happier than he'd been in a long time. Happier, certainly, than he had been with Scorpius.

Scorpius poked at his sausages.

-o-

At 4:23, Al arrived at the Quidditch. Everybody else was already there, wearing Quidditch robes. Al, who had only ever played at home, didn't have any. He had always borrowed Jamie's old ones.

Everyone took one look at him and busted out laughing. "What. The hell. Are you wearing?" Kate spat out between bursts of giggles.

Al flushed. He had half a mind to run back to his dorm room and hide. "Muggle athletic clothes," he said shamefully. "I don't have any Quidditch robes."

"Mate, you should have told me," Michael said breathlessly, clutching his stomach. "I have some you can borrow. It's still before 4:30, so change quick and you'll be fine." He led Al back to the changing room, still laughing.

Ovian snickered. "That's the kid you want on the team? Good luck with that. I know he's Harry Potter's kid and all, but…" he laughed meanly.

Everyone else shifted uncomfortably.

4:29, and Charlie stood up. Al had a minute to return. He didn't want to start late, and punctuality was important in his Quidditch players. He murmured to Kris Varr quietly. Al and Michael suddenly appeared and ran to join the group. Al was panting, but Michael seemed fine.

Al Potter looked good in the Quidditch robes. They were a few sizes too big, but he managed to wear them as well as any dress robes model would have.

Charlie was relieved. "Shall we begin, then?" He spoke to the four potential Seekers as they were each handed a number to wear on their backs. "The tryout will have three stages. First, four Snitches, one for each of you, will be released. Your job is to catch one—whichever one you can—and then return. The order in which you return to me will be your rankings for the first stage. For the second stage, I'm going to release ten Snitches. Your job is to catch as many as you can. When you successfully catch one, it will immediately disappear. I will announce how many have been caught out loud, and the Seeker who caught it will be recorded on my sheet." He waved a clipboard around. "The third, and most important stage, will involve only one Snitch. All four of you will be trying to catch it. Good luck," he grinned. "You'll probably need it. Any questions? No? Mount your brooms!"

Al grabbed his borrowed school broomstick, a nine-year-old Nimbus Four Thousand. The others mounted their own brooms, a Firebolt King, a Diamond Ridgeback Two, and the new Lightning Dash VII. He hoped his parents might buy him a broom if he made the team. They had, after all, for James.

Charlie released the Snitches, and after that brief flash of gold, the tiny airborne balls were nowhere to be seen. Al squinted in the light. He quickly took off his glasses and rubbed them on his shirt, cleaning off any dirt. He couldn't even see the whole pitch because of how low he was to the ground, so he flew higher and scanned the pitch. The angle helped with the sun, too; he wasn't looking directly into its rays. _There!_ He saw a flash of gold and sped his broom after it, but before he got within a hundred meters, it was gone. He returned to circling the pitch, looking sharply down at the pitch.

Half an hour later later, no Snitch had been caught. The spectators seemed bored. Charlie and Marie were laughing and the others seemed to be chatting. Nobody was paying any attention to the Seekers up overhead. Suddenly, he saw a Snitch near Calista Otter. He dove after it, but she was closer, and within seconds, the golden Snitch was struggling in her quick hand. She grinned at Al and flew down to give it to Charlie.

"The first Snitch has been caught!" said Charlie's amplified voice. Al knew that if he wanted to make the team—and he had decided he wanted to—he would have to make the next catch or give up any hope. He saw a second Snitch hovering near the goalposts. Trevor Ovian, who was further away, saw Al go into a steep dive. Both boys tore after the little golden ball. Al glanced back quickly, then wished he hadn't. Ovian was coming quickly up beside him, and within seconds, he would pass Al. Al urged his broom to go faster, but it wouldn't.

Ovian was nearly level with Al now, and Al knew he was going to lose the Snitch. He shimmied desperately up his broomstick, sacrificing any steadiness he had on the old broom for those desperate extra inches. It still wasn't enough, Al stretched forward. Ovian was next to him, and they were only about a meter from the Snitch, which hovered, unmoving, by the left goalpost.

Al didn't think. He just jumped. His hand closed around the little ball, and Ovian slammed into him, pushing him forward in midair as his broom began to fall to the ground. Al's other hand scrabbled for purchase on the ring of the goal post, his sweaty hand slipping. Suddenly, everything stopped. He hung there, 50 feet above the ground, his hand clenched around the goalpost and the fluttering Snitch clasped in his other hand.

"It's okay!" shouted a voice from the ground. "You can let go! I've got you!" Al looked down, and Charlie was pointing his wand at him. He felt a release of gravity, and realized Charlie had cast some sort of levitation charm on him. He let go, and floated down. He breathed again when his feet touched down, and then had the wind knocked out of him suddenly. Scorpius had tackled him.

"You idiot!" the blond boy said, hugging Al close to him. "You could have died!" He brushed the hair back tenderly from Al's face, checking him for injuries. "Are you okay?"

Al was suddenly annoyed. "Yeah. I'm fine. Get off of me. I'm not your _boyfriend_."

Scorpius froze and stood up quickly. He looked angry. "I know." He turned and stalked jerkily away from Al. He stood gloomily at the edge of the pitch.

"That was brilliant!" exclaimed Kris Varr. "Dangerous as hell, but brilliant. Do that in a game and you'll be a legend." He grinned rakishly at Al.

"And the second Snitch has been caught," Charlies voice rang out unnecessarily to the two players still Seeking as if they hadn't noticed what had happened.

Al grinned. He kind of wished that Dan Gaither had seen him.

-o-

Twenty minutes later, the other two Snitches had been caught in quick secession. Ovian had caught the third one, and Calvin Bath had come in fourth only two minutes later.

After a fifteen-minute break, the ten Snitches were released, and Al and the others returned to the air. Al used the same method of flying long, slow circles above the goalposts and found that it worked well. He had caught three of the nine Snitches. Calista had caught three as well, while Calvin had caught two and Ovian only one. He had to beat Calista in this one. He didn't like the feeling of second place. He would get Reserve Seeker if he came in second, but he desperately wanted to be on the actual team. He didn't know why; on Friday, he had scorned the idea of trying to spend more time with Scorpius's friend Michael. He guessed he had found Michael and the others, particularly Kris Varr, to be quite good friends. And he wanted them to be his friends. He scanned the pitch.

_There!_ In the center of the field flew the tenth Snitch. He looked around. Nobody had seen it, and all the others were closer to it than he was. If he dove now, somebody would see him and take it away from him. He flew in his large circles lower, closer to the Snitch. He tried to look like he was still searching. Nobody noticed him, and nobody saw the Snitch. He got within fifty meters when Calvin Bath saw what he was doing. Calvin, who was below the Snitch, flew suddenly up, and Al leaned forward on his broom, urging it forward. Secrecy was abandoned, and he flew hard and fast towards the little golden ball. Calvin was too late, too far away. Al's fingers closed over it, and the ball disappeared into nothingness. The second stage was over, and Al was tied with Calista Otter for first place.

The players landed, tired of squinting. Al's eyes were aching. His prescription wasn't quite right. He pushed his glasses up further on his nose, knowing he looked exactly like his father when he did so. He still had one stage left to go.

Charlie gave them a short break. The sun was going to set by eight o'clock, which was less than an hour away. Al wasn't sure if playing under the lights would be better or worse, and he didn't really want to find out. He grabbed his broom and looked at Charlie, who cast a quick _Tempus_ charm and motioned to the other Seekers. They rose in the air together for the final time.

The Snitch was released, and the game was on. Al circled the pitch again, but had to squint harder against the dying light. He couldn't find the Snitch anywhere, and he tried to be patient. He knew that getting frustrated wouldn't help him. He flew lower, unable to make out anything in the growing shadows. He hoped the lights would turn on soon.

He could barely see in the darkness, and he heard Charlie yelling at someone about the lights. Apparently, they weren't going to be turning on. The Golden Snitch appeared two feet in from of him, and Al squinted, trying to see if it was actually what he thought it was. He snatched out a hand, and Charlie's voice rang out for the final time. "The Snitch has been caught! Please, fly down carefully."

The four Seekers landed, and Al triumphantly placed it in Charlie's hand. He had won two of the three stages and had come in second on the others.

"The lineup will be announced tomorrow," the Captain said in the darkness, lit only by the light of a few wands. "Including the Reserve Seeker. No changes will be made, no arguments will be had."

He led the group back to the castle.

"Al!" said a voice from behind the black-haired boy. Scorpius's voice.

Al turned around. The blond boy caught up to him. "Good job today, Al."

"Thanks," Al said genuinely. "Er, I hope I'll see you if I make the team."

"You did, Al. You're brilliant at Quidditch. I don't know why you didn't before."

"You know why, Scorpius. The locker rooms. And besides, they're your friends, not mine."

"They're yours now, Al." Scorpius grinned at the boy, then froze. He suddenly nodded coldly at Albus. "I'll see you, I guess." He hurried up to the others, leaving Al walking alone in the dark.

-o-

Scorpius didn't know why he had talked to Al, or congratulated him, or left him behind in the dark. He put his head in his hands and rolled over in his bed. He tried to sleep, painfully conscious of the boy in the bed next to his and his Hogsmeade date tomorrow. He slept fitfully.


	3. Chapter 3

See Chapter 1 for my declaration that everything is the brainchild of the incredible J.K. Rowling.

AN: Sorry this took me so long to get up! My new rule is that everything will be updated weekly by Tuesday. So next chapter will be posted by Tuesday, August 5. Hope you enjoy!

AN 2: If you want to beta this, PM me please!

Chapter 3

Al woke up to giggling the next morning. His curtains were thrown back and he frantically pulled the sheet over his bare chest. Lena and Meagan were standing there, bright-eyed and smiling. "Morning!" they chirped.

"Morning," he groaned, rolling over. "Wuddym 'sit?" he asked, still half asleep.

"What?" Lena asked.

"What. Time. Is. It."

"7:45. We let you sleep in, get _up_!"

Sleep in? It was a Saturday. He had been at Quidditch tryouts the night before for hours. He saw he wasn't getting any rest and threw his arms over his eyes in an attempt to get them to go away. Lena pried them off.

"Dan Gaither's coming in just over three hours. Come on. We don't even know what you have to wear."

He groaned and rolled over, his muscles protesting. His back ached from sitting hunched over on the broom for hours. His green eyes peeked up at their blurry figures and Meagan handed him his glasses. She shrugged. "We could have come at seven."

His eyes narrowed as the world came into focus and he blinked the sleep off of his brain. "I can't get up. You're here, and you're girls."

Lena rolled her eyes. "Please, I've seen worse. You're wearing pants, at least." She whipped the covers back. "See? You're fine. Where're your clothes?"

He pointed blearily at the third closet, and his friends pulled open the doors.

Meagan sighed. "Do you have _anything_ other than black and white?"

"I have blue jeans."

Scorpius woke up at that moment. He had always been a light sleeper, though Al was worse. Trying to make sense of the noises around him, he sat up and pulled open his curtains, only to see Al sitting shirtless on his bed, back to him as Lena and Meagan fussed in his closet.

Shit.

Al's date was today.

He missed Al, even after only a week. He missed the boy's smooth skin and the way he would look at him, just a little exasperated. He missed his green eyes and him always trying to sneak kisses, even though Scorpius had shied away. He missed him badly.

He shouldn't have let Al get away, but he had. He contemplated kissing Al, right then. Just to show that he didn't care anymore. He started to get off the bed, but right then Al laughed in a way that he hadn't ever heard. Al was happy. Lena had said something funny, probably about Daniel Gaither, and Al laughed. Al laughed without him.

Scorpius silently drew back his curtains and lay back on his bed. His boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—didn't miss him.

-o-

Al dressed in a clean white t-shirt and blue jeans. Lena had attempted to fix his hair stylishly—rather like Dan Gaither's, actually—but his hair had resisted any gel. He wished he didn't have such awful, crazy hair. And his glasses just made him look worse, honestly.

If he hadn't been the only out gay guy at Hogwarts, he was sure that Dan Gaither never would have approached him.

After breakfast with Lena and Meagan—nobody else was awake yet as it was Saturday—the trio returned to the Ravenclaw Common Room.

"So," Lena was saying, "The rest of us—Michael and Scorp and everybody—we're going to go down to Hogsmeade around 12 and have lunch at the Three Broomsticks. Do you know where he's taking you, Albus?"

"No, he didn't tell me and—"

"It better not be—sorry, what were you saying?" She looked expectantly at him.

Al was surprised. She wanted to know what he had to say. What _he_ had to say. He gathered himself. "Al. Not Albus."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Lena said genuinely. "I didn't know. You don't like the Dumbledore, then?"

"When we were studying him in History of Magic and Scorpius gave that presentation on his dual nature and, I don't know, betrayal, I guess, of my dad, I thought he made a lot of good points. But mostly, Albus is an old man's name. Al is a bit better, but honestly, I don't know what my dad was thinking."

Meagan giggled. "As if Meagan's that good. But Scorp's name, you would think it would be awful, but he wears it with such pride. His middle name is awful, though. Hyperion, honestly." She sighed dramatically and Al found himself laughing.

"Daniel Gaither, on the other hand," Lena announced earnestly, a haughty look on her face, "now that is one fine name." She grinned broadly. "And one fine physique. Have you _seen_ him?"

Al couldn't miss the opportunity. "No, but I intend to." He winked devilishly at her and the three collapsed in laughter.

"I want details!" Meagan said. "Screw Michael, I'll take Dan Gaither.

Her boyfriend came into the room just at that time. He swept dramatically into the room and fell in death throes at Meagan's feet. Straight-faced, he announced, "My love! I shall not live without you! Your betrayal wounds me!"

Laughing, Meagan bent down to kiss him. "He's gay, unfortunately." She grinned at the overly relieved look on his face. "If he wasn't though…" she trailed off meaningfully.

"He's mine!" said Al. "You can't have him." He frowned at her.

Michael laughed. "You're a bunch of romantics in here."

"As if you aren't," accused Lena. "You should see your face around Meagan, honestly." She rolled her eyes at her friend. "Boys."

Michael looked at Al. "Honestly, man, you were smart to avoid the female species. Don't want to get tangled up in these dramatics."

Meagan huffed and poked her boyfriend. "You were the worst one here! Honestly, you should have seen yourself. 'You wound me!'" Michael kissed her to shut her up.

They kissed for a while (Al groaned loudly until they finally broke apart), then Lena announced, "Speaking of dramatics, aren't you supposed to meet your boyfriend, Al?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Lover, then."

Al just looked pointedly at her.

"Fine, date, whatever. Where is he?"

Al glanced at his watch. 11:07. "Fuck," he stood up abruptly. "He said 11:00. I hope he's not waiting for me."

"I'm escorting you!" exclaimed Lena. "I want to see him, I bet it will just be so adorable."

"Sure," Al grinned amiably. Sure, Lena was completely overreacting to the whole gay thing, but it was certainly better than her treatment of him beforehand.

"Hey, Al," Michael called out just before they left. "When you and lover boy get back, library? Study? I could use your help in Transfigurations. The new material is just killing me."

"Yeah, sure, if you help me with potions. And he's not a lover boy."

Meagan snorted. "Please. He's been in love with you for years; we all knew it. Now go meet him, you arsehole!"

"I am a top, thank you," Al said, blushing at his daring.

He and Lena swept out of the room to shocked looks and laughter.

Scorpius sat just out of view on the steps leading up to the dorms. He knew Al was a top. He bet Dan Gaither didn't. He sighed. Not yet, at least. He hoped he never found out.

-o-

Dan greeted Al and Lena outside the door of his Common Room. "I was worried you forgot," he said, forehead creased.

"Sorry," Al shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "I lost track of time. Won't happen again."

Dan looked at Lena awkwardly. "Um. Hi. I'm, er, Daniel Gaither. Dan. Call me Dan. I don't know your name, I'm sorry. I'm in Gryffindor, sixth-year?" He made it sound like a question.

Lena grinned and shook his hand. "Allena Farley, friend of Albus Severus Potter, but you knew that, of course. Call me Lena or I'll sabotage you in Potions, got it?"

"Oh, yeah, you're Malfoy's girlfriend, right?"

Al tensed. Lena looked at him curiously but responded calmly, "No, but if he's looking for a girlfriend let me know, yeah?" She pushed Al into Dan, who stepped back awkwardly and suddenly. Al recovered and glared at her. She turned and walked back into the Ravenclaw Common Room.

"Er, shall we go?" Dan said, looking at Al uncomfortably.

"Yeah, sure, sorry I was late." Al felt somewhat obligated to hold out his hand. He was glad when Dan took it, lacing his fingers through Al's.

Dan smiled at him, "No problem. Let's go. Three Broomsticks?" He blushed. "I know everybody goes there, but it's for a reason, and besides, I don't really want to go to Madame Puddifoot's. Though if you want to go somewhere else, we could—"

"No, the Three Broomsticks is fine," Al said, grinning up at him. He tried to banish Scorpius's face from his mind. To his surprise, he succeeded, replacing the image of the grey-eyed boy with the blue-eyed boy in front of him.

They walked to Hogsmeade together.

-o-

"Oh my god! How was it?" Meagan squealed when Al returned to drop his coat and pick up his books for studying.

Al grinned, cheeks pink. "Great. Dan's really…" he didn't finish. He suddenly became aware of Scorpius Malfoy in the corner when the blond boy stood up abruptly and walked towards the stairs. His shoulders were hunched. He looked mad.

"Tell us everything," Lena said. She pointed to the empty couch. "Sit."

He pulled at his shirt collar, embarrassed. He fell back on the couch, accidentally sitting partway on Michael. "Sorry, man. Er. I dunno, I felt like we had a lot in common. It was pretty… it was pretty great, honestly."

"You are blushing. What did you talk about? Where did you go?"

Al ran his fingers through his hair and laid back on the coach. He covered his face with his arms.

"We went to the Three Broomsticks. He got us Butterbeer. We talked about Quidditch. He's a Cannons fan, like me, apparently." He grinned behind his arms. "And then I asked him why he asked me out. You were right, Lena. He's liked me for ages, but thought I was straight. He was glad I wasn't, though."

"Of course he was, you numbskull. So, boys only for both of you then?"

"I dunno, he said he liked a girl once. For me though, obviously. I've never even hit on you, and every boy here has."

"I haven't," broke in Michael indignantly.

"You've got a girlfriend, it doesn't count."

"It does count. It's just blondes are more my style." He grinned at Meagan.

"Scorp has never hit on me," Lena huffed.

"Er," said Al awkwardly.

Michael came unknowingly to Scorpius's rescue. "Scorp likes somebody else. He told me once. Wouldn't tell me who, though. Not even which House she was in."

"Seriously? Shit," Lena groaned. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me? It's not me, is it? I've been hitting on him for literally ages, and don't tell me that I've been making a fool of myself, because he's never said anything to me!" She groaned. "Arsehole."

Al barely held in his snicker, but he knew he looked ridiculous. "Yeah," he agreed, smiling.

"So, Al, studying?"

"Yeah, let me just grab my stuff," Al said. He walked upstairs to his dorm room and found Scorpius sitting on his bed—on Al's bed.

"Scorpius." Al said by way of greeting.

"Al," Scorpius said, standing up. He moved smoothly towards Al, who took a step back.

"What the fuck are you doing on my bed."

"Why are you going out with Daniel Gaither?" Scorpius demanded angrily.

"We're not together, Scorpius, you have no right to tell me who I can and can't go out with!" Al returned, instantly furious. "We broke up. I broke up with you, whatever. You're not my boyfriend anymore, okay?"

"I thought you loved me!" Scorpius said defensively. "What happened, Potter? Couldn't deal with the closet case anymore with the homophobic dad?"

"I can't do anything about that, Scorpius," Al said, the anger going out of him suddenly. "You can't blame me for that."

"Don't blame me either."

"I'm not!"

"You're punishing me for it."

"I'm not punishing you, Scorpius. I'm just trying to… figure myself out. I need space from you. And I needed to be out. I couldn't deal with secrets anymore."

"And Gaither is coming out for sweet little Al Potter? Does he know anything about you?"

Al's anger returned in a fury. He shoved Scorpius. "_Dan_ is coming out for himself. Do you have a fucking problem with that? Upset that he's getting me when you can't, Malfoy?" His eyes blazed at his ex-boyfriend. "And don't you dare talk about him like that."

"He doesn't know anything about you!" Scorpius spat.

"Neither do you! At least he's fucking trying!"

Scorpius swung, but Al caught his fist with Seeker reflexes. He used the blond's own momentum to shove him to the floor. "I can't deal with you anymore, Malfoy. Be happy for me or leave me alone. There aren't any other choices."

Scorpius pushed himself up and watched as Al got his books. "I thought you loved me."

"I did. I do. I don't know. Leave me alone." Al let the door slam behind him.

-o-

"What took so long?" Michael asked when Al finally came back down.

"Bathroom."

Michael shrugged and kissed Meagan. "See you later, babe."

"Bye, guys." Al nodded to the two girls.

He and Michael walked in silence to the library and then quietly started on Transfigurations once there. Professor Tybalt, the librarian, hissed at them at every sound. The old man was clearly crazy. Not as bad as Filch though, and his awful skinny cat Mr. Bortner.

The silence sat comfortably around them, but Al's thoughts were swirling in his head. "Michael?" he asked pensively.

"Yeah?"

"Er, why did you and Lena and Meagan only like me after I came out?"

Michael frowned. "It's not that we didn't like you, man. I dunno. You seemed really closed off, and nobody really knew why. Not like you were shy, but like you were hiding something. I mean, a lot of people guessed you were, you know, gay. But other people thought it might be something worse."

"Like what?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I dunno. Drugs maybe, or PTSD."

"What did you think?"

"I thought, I guess, I thought that you were just weird. Meagan said you were gay, and I believe her because she's Meagan, of course. I had some doubts. I thought, actually, that it had to do with your brother."

"James?"

"Do you have any other brothers? Obviously James. I thought he didn't like you for being in Ravenclaw or something and that got to you."

"Oh. I mean, he would rather that I'm in Gryffindor, but it doesn't bother him. We're pretty close, actually."

"Ah. I didn't know that much about you, honestly. But James is a scary bloke."

"He's cool around Elizabeth."

"Yeah, man. Anyway, we were kind of uncertain what was up with you. What you were hiding. It's cool that you're gay and everything. Just, I swear, if you try to kiss me…"

Al made a face. "Gross."

"Meagan likes it!"

"She's your girlfriend. She kind of has to like it."

Michael grinned. "Don't know how I got her."

Al laughed in response. "No clue, man. But whatever you're doing, keep doing it."

Professor Tybalt came around the corner. "Shush!" he whispered loudly.

Michael and Al shared an irritated glance and snickered.

Al decided he genuinely liked Michael.

-o-

Scorpius came down in a bad mood a few hours after Al and Michael left. He tossed himself on the couch Al had vacated.

Lena said, "So who is she?"

"Who?" Scorpius said, irritated.

"The girl you like."

Scorpius sat up, genuinely confused. "What?"

"Don't tell him, but Michael spilled that you have a crush on someone."

Scorpius racked his brains. He hadn't told Michael that he liked—loved—Al, he knew that much.

"He said that you wouldn't tell him who she was, or even which House she was in. Spill, though. You know I'll get it out of you." Lena seemed excited, despite her long-term flirting with him. "So, not Ravenclaw, I'm assuming you would be all over her. I know it's not me and it better not be Meagan or Michael would kill you—"

"I would kill him."

"—Meagan would kill you because she's badass like that. So she's probably not a Ravenclaw. Slytherin? Your dad would never let you go for somebody in Gryffindor."

Meagan leaned forward, interested despite herself. "Or a Hufflepuff. Is it Stephanie Kowdroff? You've known her since you were little, right? What's her mother's name again?"

"Pansy. Her mother and my father were in the same year. And of course not, she's got a face like a pug."

Lena snorted. Meagan frowned. "That was rather rude."

"What was, babe?" Michael and Al reentered the Common Room. Al took one look at Scorpius and fled upstairs.

"Hey," she said, kissing him quickly. "Scorp said he would never date Stephanie Kowdroff because her face looks like a pug's."

"It does." Meagan smacked him.

"Really because of her intelligence level, though. I would never go for someone not as intelligent as I am."

"Not Rose Weasley." Lena's face contorted into one a perfect combination of worry and horror.

"What? Of course not."

"She's not that bad looking," Meagan interjected. "She has really gorgeous hair, actually. I wonder what she puts in it, I've been meaning to ask her. Pretty eyes too."

"Don't tell me you're leaving me for her!" Michael said, mock-horrified.

"I'm straighter than you, Michael," Meagan said, rolling her eyes and leaning against him. "Don't tell me you haven't been looking at Albus."

"Once."

Scorpius looked at him in shock. "Seriously, man?"

"What? I'm not blind. And I'm enough of a man to admit that I can find another bloke attractive. Doesn't mean I'm leaving Mea, obviously. She's better looking. But I would shag him if I were into that."

Lena laughed. "Even though he's a top?"

"That's why I said, 'If I were into that.'" Michael grinned rakishly. "I'm not. But he's a nice looking bloke, if you're into blokes." He looked at Scorpius. "Don't you think?"

Scorpius shrugged in an attempt at casualness. "I suppose so. I'm not into that though. I'm totally straight."

Michael winked. "If you say so. I don't think anybody can be totally straight though. Or totally gay, whatever Al says."

Scorpius huffed, annoyed. "Since when do you call him Al?"

Lena looked at him strangely. "Why do you care? Is it your name for him or something? You've always called him that, now that I think of it."

"No, it's not! I don't have a 'name' for _Albus Potter_. It's just what he prefers to be called," he said, shrinking into his seat.

Meagan suddenly thought of something. "Hey, Scorp," she said. "You were really close with Al for a long time, right?"

He suddenly felt the hair rise on his arms. He was thankful for the long-sleeved robes. "Yeah," he said defensively.

"Did you know he liked boys?"

Whatever Scorpius had been expecting, it was not that. He didn't know how to respond. If he said yes, then he would be put up to all sorts of scrutiny. If he said no, then he would be lying. And he was a horrible liar, despite him being in the closet for years. "Yes," he mumbled.

"Oh my god, why didn't you tell us?" Lena asked, dramatically outraged. "You knew we wouldn't care."

"I di—er. He didn't want people to know," Scorpius said, cursing his slip up. "He wanted to be closeted for a while."

"Didn't seem that way to me," laughed Meagan.

Scorpius suddenly wanted to change the subject. "How did you all do on your Potions essay?"

"Tragically," groaned Lena loudly. "I got an _E_."

"Merlin, I hate it when you do that," said Scorpius, suddenly angry. "E isn't tragic, you know."

"It brought my grade down," Lena returned, irritated.

"From what, a perfect O to a slightly imperfect O?"

"She's trying to become a Potions Master, you arse," Meagan said in defense of her best friend. "You know she needs an O in that."

"She's getting a fucking O."

"Calm down, man," Michael said bracingly. "Go upstairs if you're so pissed."

Scorpius stood up. "All of you are fucking against me all the time! You attack me for the littlest things and you abandon me for _my_ best friend just because he's fucking gay and you know what? I can't deal with this anymore." He glared at Michael angrily. "I'll see you at practice tomorrow with your new best friend. And you," he said, pointing his finger at Lena. "I don't fucking like anybody." He turned on his heel and stormed upstairs.

Al was sitting on his bed. He looked up when Scorpius entered. "Scorpius?" he said gently. "You okay."

"I'm not fucking okay, Al," Scorpius said, turning away angrily. "Do I look okay? You dumped me for this idiot Gryffindor and now you're the most popular kid in school and everybody, even Michael for Merlin's sake and he's _straight_, is fucking in love with you. And you were mine first, and I loved you, and I thought you loved me, and now I don't know what to do." He turned back to Al, and Al realized he was crying. "I fucking loved you. I miss you, Al."

"Scorpius." Al stood up from the bed. He walked over to Scorpius and wrapped the taller blond boy in his arms.

"I loved you. I love you, Al." Scorpius said, on Al's shoulder.

"I know, Scorpius." Al said gently. He held Scorpius for several minutes, then pulled away and pushed his ex-boyfriend's hair back. "It's okay. Scorpius, you know we can still be friends, right?"

"Al," Scorpius whispered. He dipped his face lower and kissed him.

AN: Sorry for the cliffhanger! It seemed a good place to end it. Check back by next Tuesday to find the new chapter. -Storm


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1, but the gist is I don't own anything except the OCs and the plot line. And the homosexuality of Al and Scorpius, presumably, although other people have decided to have them reveal their true sexuality before I did.

AN: Sorry it's so short. Thank you to the lovely Wheeze13 for reviewing my fledgling story, and I do appreciate all readers, truly. *hugs each and every one of you*

Chapter 4

_"Al," Scorpius whispered. He dipped his face lower and kissed him._

For a moment, Al sank into the kiss. He tasted Scorpius's lips on his, and put his arms around Scorpius's waist, pulling his boyfriend—no. Ex-boyfriend. Al's eyes flew open and he shoved Scorpius away, wiping at his lips.

"Al," Scorpius said.

"You had no right," Al retorted angrily. "I broke up with you. You can't just kiss me like that anymore."

"I know," Scorpius said miserably. "I miss you."

"Why? You never kissed me when we were together. I always kissed you. You were always worrying that somebody would walk in on us and guess that pretty pureblooded Scorpius was gay!"

"I did kiss you."

"Name one time."

Scorpius couldn't, so he watched Al in silence.

"You had me, Scorpius. I was your boyfriend, but you never even pretended to care. But now suddenly that somebody else is interested in me, and maybe, possibly, I just might be interested in him, you're claiming me. That's not fair. You can't have it both ways. I'm done with you."

"I loved you!"

"You said it, but you never meant it," Al advanced, backing Scorpius into his bed. "Words mean nothing. I don't even know if you ever cared. The second anything you _actually_ cared about was threatened, you ignored me. Your father, Quidditch, your friends, your popularity, anything. And I put up with it. But I'm done with that, really. I'm done being your fuckbuddy."

"You were always more—"

Al turned, slamming the door on his way out. Scorpius swallowed the last of his words and sank into his bed sadly. He had loved Al, he just couldn't express it the way Al wanted to. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't. It was his father's. But he couldn't even convince himself.

Al stomped furiously down the stairs. Halfway down, he realized he didn't have anywhere to go, and he didn't know what to do. James. James would have an answer.

Meagan stopped him on the way out the door. "Hey, Al," she said.

"Hey," he said, not turning around.

"Argument with Scorp?"

"Yeah."

"Wait, it wasn't about you being gay, was it?" Michael interjected. "He told us."

Al turned around, shocked. "He told you?"

"Yeah, I mean, you guys were really close as of like a week ago. I wasn't surprised that you told him before anybody else, honestly." Michael replied.

"Wait," Al said, confused. "What exactly did he tell you?"

"That he knew you were gay?" Lena made it sound like a question.

Al narrowed his eyes, annoyed. "Yeah, he knew that, for sure. I have to go." He stalked out of the room. He felt like he should say something else, but he couldn't bring himself to give a more polite reply.

-o-

Scorpius sank on to his bed, moaning into his hands. Why the hell had he just kissed Al? His ex-boyfriend, he had to remember that. Emphasis on the _ex_. Al had just been looking so unbelievably hot and caring and sweet and so, so _Albusy_ that he hadn't been able to handle it. With all that had been going on, the rejections from his friends, the whole school being allowed to love Al while he couldn't, the horrible Dan Gaither, the way Al just dumped him and moved on, everything… he had just wanted one second with Al as his again.

He had to remember that Al wasn't his, would never be his again. He didn't even know if Al had been his in the first place.

And he had to move on. If his ex-boyfriend was moving on, he had to as well. Or win Al back; he wasn't quite sure yet. Either way, he needed somebody else: a girl. Lena, probably. She had fancied him since fourth year. Everybody knew it and she made no effort to hide it despite his clear disinterest. His clear disinterest. Fuck. Everybody probably knew he was gay; a pretty girl had draped herself over him for two years and he had never made a move on her. Lifting his head from his hands, he looked around. How many people had guessed that he was about as not straight as it was possible for a man to be? Even Al's bed was a mess; his was made neat with hospital corners. Al wore loose Muggle jeans and T-shirts even under his Hogwarts robes. Scorpius wore neat collared shirts, skinny jeans and combat boots. Stereotypical homosexual… and people had even guessed about Al. Probably everybody knew about him. He fell back on his bed and moaned loudly.

"Scorp?"

Michael. Fuck. He sat up and looked miserably at the other boy.

Michael seemed completely uncertain as to what to do. "Er, are you okay?"

Scorpius stared at him. "I'm fine," he said, his tone making it clear he was _not_.

Michael walked over slowly and sat next to him. "Do you want to, er, talk about it or something?" He coughed awkwardly. "I'm no good at this, sorry. Really, I am. I'm good at talking and stuff, but really, I can't deal with emotions and stuff. I think your friend Al once told me that I had the emotional range of a teaspoon…" he trailed off when Scorpius didn't respond. "Er, do you want me to send somebody—"

"He's not my friend."

Michael looked at him strangely. "Er, who?"

"Al Potter."

"'Course he is, you nimrod. Only reason we put up with him for so long was because you liked him."

"I didn't like him!"

"Is this about the gay thing, Scorp?" Michael said angrily. "Because you've got to get over yourself if it is—"

"No! I'm not homophobic, Michael." Scorpius retorted.

"Are you worried he's going to check you out in the showers? Because he's not that much of an ass in my opinion and besides, he's a respectful sort of bloke who wouldn't—"

"It's not because he's fucking gay, Michael."

"Well, what the hell is it then, Scorp? You guys were best friends for years and then suddenly he comes out and you are fighting and fuck, Scorp. I suck at this sort of thing, and you're making no sense. You say you knew but then why the fuck did you suddenly act like you hate him?"

"I don't hate him."

"I don't think he knows that, do you? Because you sure act like it, and I don't think he deserves it. He's a pretty cool guy actually, and I can't believe I'm defending him when I've only actually talked to him in the last like two _weeks_ when you've known him for years and—"

"He knows I don't fucking hate him, Michael! I told him I loved him!"

Fuck, thought Scorpius.

Michael stared at Scorpius in shock. He swallowed drily and said, "Loved? Like _love_ love or like _friend_ love or like…"

Scorpius glared at him.

Michael glanced away awkwardly. "Love love, then. Er, are you like _into_, er. Al Potter?" He sounded so unsure of himself that Scorpius almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"He was my best friend," Scorpius whispered. "It just, I don't know. Happened. Don't hate me, okay?"

Michael stood up. "Fuck, Scorp. How the hell did you think I would react? I've known you since we were eleven. I have been your friend for six years and you couldn't just for two seconds believe that I wouldn't care who you shag, whether it's Lena or Al Potter or I dunno, Professor Longbottom? I can't believe you didn't trust me enough to tell me. No, I can believe that. What I can't understand is why the hell you would have thought I would have _hated_ you. _Hated_ you. Not understood why you like sex like that, maybe, but hated you?" He towered over Scorp. "I wouldn't hate you for something like that."

"I don't like boys, Michael, I like girls, it was a one time—"

"Spare me that shit, Malfoy," Michael spat. "You didn't even have the decency to tell Lena that you would never be interested. Whoever you wanted to fuck, she was your _friend_. You don't pull that shit on your friends. And you don't expect them to hate you, either."

"I like _girls_," Scorpius pleaded. "Don't tell my father."

Michael swallowed. "I know Draco Malfoy. Even though you're being an arsehole, I would never do that to you. That's not my position. It's not my position to tell Lena, either. But you have to."

"I can't," Scorpius whispered desperately. "What if—"

"Then at least you have to tell her that you're not interested. Don't make her waste any more time on a lost cause like you."

That hurt. Scorpius nodded.

Next time: Al talks to Elizabeth and James. Scorpius is miserable and rejects his sexuality.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

AN: Hopefully this will make up a bit for the shortness of Chapter 4. Thank you to the wonderful myprofoundfantasy for her lovely review!

Al waited by the door to the Gryffindor Tower, hoping that somebody would come and open it. He was lucky. Within five minutes, a pair of second-year boys clambered out. He slipped behind the Fat Lady before she could close, although she was acting particularly drowsy that day—hungover, he would guess.

He found Elizabeth in the Common Room, lounging and chatting with friends. She glanced up and saw him. Luckily, Dan Gaither was nowhere to be seen.

"Al! What are you doing here?"

He grinned just at the sound of her happy and familiar voice. With all the drama going on in Ravenclaw, it was really nice to have somebody absolutely on his side. He walked over to her, and she stood up and hugged him close. She seemed to see the relief in his eyes and knew immediately something was wrong.

"Al…" she said sadly. "Do you want me to go get your brother?"

He nodded, suddenly to choked up to speak. It seemed that the warm and welcoming environment of the Gryffindor combined with Elizabeth's mothering had opened up a bottle of emotions.

She hugged him again. "Give me a minute. He's taking a nap."

He sat down on the couch and smiled weakly at her friends. He knew them, of course—he had been to see the Gryffindors before—but he didn't know them well at all. They seemed rather uncertain as to what to do with a suddenly weepy younger clone of Harry Potter on the Gryffindor couch.

Elizabeth and a sleepy James came down a minute of awkward silence later. James rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Al," he groaned. "I was twenty minutes into my nap and shit, what the hell happened to you?"

Apparently Al wasn't as good at hiding his emotions as he had thought. He was just glad that he had saved them for the Gryffindor Tower. He stood up.

"Can we talk?"

"Anytime, Al. Boy troubles?" His eyes searched Al's. "Or something else?"

"Something like that. Your room?"

"Sure." James led the small party up to his room. Al hooked his arm in Elizabeth's in a silent motion for her to come with. He could use her uncanny insight.

They all sat on James's bed. The two seventh years looked at Al expectantly. He avoided their eyes as he tried to gather his thoughts. A minute went by before he spoke.

"Scorpius kissed me," he announced suddenly. He ignored their looks as he continued. "And not only does he not have the right to do it anymore since he's not my boyfriend now, he never did that once when we were actually together. Literally, not a single time."

James and Elizabeth didn't respond, and Al felt words spilling from his mouth suddenly.

"And I'm not entirely certain whether or not you know, but this guy—a Gryffindor sixth year, actually, Dan Gaither—this guy has asked me out, and I said yes. We went to Hogsmeade on Saturday, and I had an okay time, but, I dunno. He's just not Scorpius. I still love him, Scorpius I mean, and I don't know why. I don't want to. He was a horrible boyfriend, really. He would never do anything because he was scared of being caught, and he would barely even hold my hand, and he told me not to tell anybody, not even you two or Lily, because he didn't really trust you. And he never really trusted me. I had to initiate everything, and he would only do things when he was really horny or something. But now that he's got competition—Dan Gaither—and we're not together and he's lost me, I guess, he wants me back. He didn't say so, but I can tell, and I hate that he only cares about me at all when he can't have me. It's like he never valued me when we were a relationship. I don't even know that he cares that it's me. He just wants a boyfriend, I think. Anybody would do. But he said he loved me, and I believed him. And I love him, more than he would ever know. More than he should ever know, probably. Because I don't even know if he likes me." He suddenly broke off his monologue and stared hopelessly at James and Elizabeth.

James broke the silence. "Dan Gaither, huh? Converting people, are you?" He grinned, and Elizabeth shoved him off the bed angrily.

"You idiot," she said deceptively calmly. "Your brother has just spilled his guts to you and you make a joke!"

He reached up his arms to her. "Love, I was just trying to break the tension." She glared at him but allowed him to return to the bed. She leaned crossly away from him, and he tucked her into his side, kissing her dark curls. She looked at Al, who was wishing he had a relationship like theirs.

"Al," she said softly. "You know you have to move past Scorpius before can go out with Dan Gaither."

"I know," he huffed. "It's just… I'm trying. And I feel like I'm cheating on him. I pushed Scorpius away, you know."

"I know," she repeated his words. "I know you wouldn't do that. You're a good kid, Al. But who do you feel like you're cheating on? You said 'him,' but not _who_."

He swallowed. _Dan Gaither_, he thought instinctively, but it didn't feel quite right. _Scorpius_, the devil on his shoulder whispered. _You're cheating on Scorpius with this boy. You love Scorpius, and he loves you, and…_ "Dan Gaither," he spat the bitter words past his lips.

She looked knowingly at him, but it was James who spoke.

"Don't lie to yourself. It's Scorpius, isn't it?"

Al nodded slowly. He couldn't really lie to himself about it. The words "IN LOVE WITH SCORPIUS MALFOY" might as well be in neon colors over his head. Complete with flashing lights and game show music. "But it shouldn't be." He knew what Elizabeth's next question would be.

"Why?"

He thought carefully. "I dunno. He's been my best friend since first year. We just… we always got along. It's always been Al and Scorpius, Scorpius and Al. I know him better than practically everybody. Maybe even actually everybody. Certainly the rest of his friends. Our friends, I suppose. He's too shy to even tell them that he hates being called Scorp; he likes Scorpius. Classier, I guess. But I even like how shy he is. Just like… I dunno, it's always been that way. I feel wrong without him." As he said the words, he recognized their truth. "But I can't be with him anymore." The words left a terrible taste in his mouth. "And he was a terrible boyfriend, anyway."

Even he knew he was only trying to convince himself.

"Al, you said yourself you were unhappy with him."

"I know," he acknowledged the truth of Elizabeth's statement.

"And there are a lot of reasons that you two were better off as friends."

"It's just… it's just hard," he mumbled. "I want to be able to cuddle with him. We did that before we were together, you know, always all over each other even before he knew he was gay. It's just the way we did things."

Elizabeth just looked sadly at him. "Al, you know that if he didn't let that girl Lena drape herself over him, everybody would know he was gay. The way he looks at you… not to mention the way he dresses." She cracked a small smile. "I know you British boys dress more carefully than Americans, but even with that, people could tell. Except for Lena Farley."

Al was always surprised at how well she knew exactly what was going on in the Ravenclaw Tower. He didn't remember telling her about Lena Farley and her long-term crush on Scorpius.

She reached out and took his hand. "Al," her deep brown eyes blinked down at his slouched body, "you have to get over Scorpius. If you can do it by going out with this Gryffindor boy, then you need to do that. But you can't keep pining away after Scorpius. If he wants something, he has to fight for it. He can't have you the way it was before—that wasn't working for anybody—and if he wants you now, he's going to have to work harder." She squeezed his fingers tightly. "But whatever you want to do, even if you end up using poor Dan Gaither, know that we'll stand behind you. James and I, we're your family."

"'Course, Al. No matter who you decide to shag," he ignored Elizabeth's sharp elbow, "you're still my baby brother." He grinned widely.

Recovering enough to poke fun at his older brother, he answered James's grin with his own. "Don't worry, James. I've only shagged Scorpius a few times. And he's never shagged me."

James, taken aback, blinked. "A top, then. Merlin knows, I hoped."

Al fought back his blush somewhat successful. Elizabeth elbowed James again. "I 'bottom' for you, you jerk," she said, annoyed.

James looked desperately at Al. "Good luck getting out of that one," Al joked with a genuine laugh. Elizabeth turned her glare on him, and the two brothers grinned at each other and started a pillow fight against her, despite having been well over the respectable age for such antics, as their mother would say.

Elizabeth, as always, came back with twice the mercilessness of her foes.

-o-

Scorpius ran his hands through his straight blond hair. He had to do it. There was no choice, no matter how it turned his stomach. Michael would hate him, of course. Maybe everybody else, but it didn't matter. If Michael thought that he was gay… he _wasn't_. He liked girls. Al was just a one-time thing, just because he was his best mate. Al had been the one to tell him he liked boys, and Scorpius had kissed him a month later.

_Maybe it would be better if I just acted more straight_, his mind whispered. _No, he answered. This is the only way_.

And it was. He stood up and walked downstairs. Michael was staring at him with a petulant look on his face. Lena, oblivious to her friend's mistrust, stood up and hugged Scorpius. He had to do it.

"Lena," he said softly, holding her arm almost painfully tightly, as if he was afraid she would run from him, "Can… can we talk?"

"Sure," she said, a smile on her face. He should have known she would agree to this. She had liked him for years.

Michael gave him an almost approving look as they walked up the stairs to the fifth-year boys' dorms. It made what he was about to do even harder. He felt his stomach clench in anticipation as they neared the door to his room. He pressed the heel of his hand to his stomach and tried to breathe more carefully. He felt almost nauseous. This wasn't him. If there were any way to prove he was straight, it would be by doing something with Lena. He had to do it.

He knew he was straight. Al was a one-time thing. And yet his stomach was churning with nausea.

He stepped over the threshold with Lena, drawing the door closed behind him. He took a deep breath.

"Scorpius?"

He stared at her in confusion for a second, sure that if he opened his mouth, his lunch would come up before any words managed to escape.

"Scorp? Are you okay? You look _awful_," Lena asked, her voice betraying her concern.

He probably did.

He took a deep breath, forced his lunch down, and spoke, not meeting her eyes. "L-Lena" his voice caught. He tried again, and it came out better. "Lena… I want to apologize for how I've been treating you. You didn't deserve that. The truth is, I've liked you for ages." He glanced at her shyly, the way Al had liked. "Er, I've _liked_ you. As in fancied you."

She laughed, the sound tinged with what seemed to him like joy. "I understand, Scorp. _Scorp,_" she breathed. She became suddenly shy. "Are you serious?"

He nodded, every muscle tensed. He hoped she didn't see how fake he felt.

She reached her arms out to circle his neck, a wide smile on her face. "Scorp… I had just given up on you, you know? Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

Holding her to him, he tried to breathe calmly and made no answer, but it didn't seem to matter.

"Let's go downstairs," she suggested.

He swallowed again and nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He could barely breathe, he felt so awful.

As they walked downstairs, he told himself sternly that he had liked the pressure of her chest against his, the sound of her voice, the feel of her hand in his. He let go of her hand quickly to wipe the sweat off of his palms and then laced his fingers through hers.

Scorpius was scared to find out Michael's reaction.

-o-

Al decided to avoid the Ravenclaw tower until curfew. He ate dinner with Elizabeth and James, and then headed over to the Slytherin Common Room to find Lily. Fortunately, he ran into her and her on-again-off-again boyfriend, Calder. Al supposed they were on again, since they were fighting. He could hear them down the hall, but they stopped as soon as they saw him.

"Al!" Lily exclaimed, running to give him a hug.

Al returned it, and nodded at Calder. "Hey, baby sister," he smiled.

She shoved him, grinning. "You're only a fifth year. You can't talk, _sir_," she laughed. Al hadn't realized how much he had missed her.

Calder, who Al actually rather liked, smiled warmly at Al. "Good evening, Al," he said, his mouth forming the nickname awkwardly as always. "I'll let you catch up," he said, striding forward to the Slytherin Common Room. "Lil, I'll be in my room," he called back.

"Everything going well?" Al asked.

"Amazingly," promised Lily. "We got back together last week, and it's going super well this time, honestly. I mean, I know you like him, and James doesn't hate him like that awful cheater Taylor, but what really worries me is when he graduates, what if he forgets me?"

In spite of himself, Al felt a smile spread across his face. "Lil, he doesn't graduate for three more years. He's only a year older than you, you know."

"I _know_," she sighed loudly. "I know he's in your year and everything, but _honestly_, what if he forgets me?"

Al poked her. "Don't worry about something so far in the future. Worry about your next Transfigurations Essay or something, really."

Lily's eyes opened wide. "Merlin's beard," she swore. "I have a Potions essay due in two days' time. Quick, distract me. What's going on with you?" Her blue eyes twinkled at him. "How's your boyfriend?"

"Dan's not my boyfriend," he huffed.

Lily touched his shoulder. "Al, sweet brother, I know that you've been under a lot of pressure lately, but your boyfriend's name is Scorpius Malfoy. You know, blond, pointy, grey eyes that you seem to like, about this high…" she trailed off, seeing the look on his face. "Okay, I'll bite. Who the hell is Dan?"

He sank down against the wall and put his face in his hands. He had hoped that James would have told her, but clearly, he didn't. The burden fell on him, again.

"Scorpius and I broke up, I came out, and Dan Gaither, a sixth-year Gryffindor, is now sort of going out with me." He tried to make it as concise as possible. When Lily didn't respond for a while, he lifted his face from his hands to peer at her. "Lily?"

"Sorry… er, you _came out_? How did I not know this?" she asked, obviously hurt. "I'm your _sister_. Does James know?"

"Er, yeah, he kind of does. This has all happened really suddenly," he tried to apologize. "I thought James or Elizabeth would tell you…" he trailed off.

"Great, even Elizabeth knows."

Lily was pissed. "Lil, I'm sorry, I should have told you. But can this be about me, for five seconds? Please?"

She looked apologetic. "Yeah, I'm sorry, Al. This is probably really hard for you, huh?" She answered her own question. "Of course it is. I'm sorry. How are you?"

"A mess," he answered truthfully. "Scorpius is not taking it well at all. He thought everybody would hate me, and I know he wants to come out, I can tell, but there's the whole thing with his father… it's just not fair for him. And all of his friends have abandoned him for me because he's coming off as really homophobic. Everything has just happened practically overnight and… I just feel so awful for Scorpius. He doesn't deserve this."

"Well, his biggest problem is probably with this Dan Gaither, right?"

"I dunno."

"Al, Scorpius would probably kill to be with you. He's always depressed and looking for you when you're not around. He can't even hide it. I don't know if he even notices. Honestly, it's the only reason I even somewhat approve of him."

"That's what James said, that he acts really differently when he's not around me. I haven't seen it, myself."

"He's probably torn up that you've found somebody else so quickly. But, anyway, you answered about Scorpius, not about yourself."

"Huh?"

"How are _you_ doing? I thought you loved him, but now suddenly you're with Dan Gaither and you've apparently got all of these new friends…"

Trust Lily to pick up on that. "I do love him," he said honestly. "But I have to move past him, Lil. He wouldn't come out, and I needed to. And really, it's so _nice_ to be able to hold a boy's hand without him flinching at every sound. Dan Gaither can give me that, and Scorpius can't."

"But you'd prefer it if Scorpius were holding your hand instead of Dan Gaither." Al could only nod. Lily looked reproachfully at him. "Al, it's not fair to this boy to use him to move past your boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend," Al sighed.

Lily, Slytherin and perceptive as ever, frowned. "Even the way you say that shows how much you miss Scorpius. How much you still love him, Al. I never really liked the bloke, but you both seemed like you needed each other." She leaned against Al where they sat in the corridor to the Slytherin Common Room. "Al, I can't say that I think you and Scorpius were necessarily good together. But you were yourself around him, I think. I think you need to figure out your issues before you do anything… but really, you shouldn't be using Dan Gaither like you are."

Al looked at his little sister. "Lil, I wish it were that simple. Really, I do."

"What _were_ your issues, anyway? Anybody could tell when you were fighting. Which happened a lot, frankly."

"I dunno. Mostly that he wouldn't come out, I suppose."

Lily frowned at him. "Seriously? Why is that such a problem?"

Al pushed back his hair. "I guess you wouldn't understand. It's really bloody stressful to have to hide your relationship all the time. And not only that, but it makes you feel like the other person isn't proud to be with you, doesn't want people to know about how he feels about you, doesn't really want to be with you. Lil, it sucks to be in the closet. I just feel newly okay with myself now. I wish Scorpius could feel like that."

"Hush," Lily said, watching as some Slytherins traipsed down the corridor.

Al watched them silently until they turned the corner, out of sight. "See, that's how it is, but all the time. You can never talk freely, openly about something that's really important to you. It was this huge secret trying to force its way out of my chest and every single day I had to make the decision that Scorpius was more important to me than myself. And then I realized that he wasn't anymore; I had been lying to myself."

"So, a bad relationship then?" Lily asked, rather redundantly in Al's opinion. It barely interrupted his train of thought.

"He wasn't even that good of a boyfriend. He never made me feel like he loved me. It was all words, it seemed. And I really loved him, I still do. But honestly, Lil, if he ever wants me back, he's going to have to do better. He said he loved me, and sometimes he even kissed me like he loved me—"

"Ew."

"Prat. But he didn't really act like it. Lily, promise me you'll never be with somebody who doesn't show you every day that they love you."

"Okay," Lily whispered, hugging her brother. He sat stoically, lost in thought. "I love you, Al. I know I don't really show it, but I'm always here for you, okay?"

"You sometimes seem so much older than fourteen, baby sister," Al said, ruffling her red hair.

Lily pinched him. "I've got a _boyfriend_, Al. Obviously I'm more mature than you would think based on my birth certificate."

Al laughed, long and hard. "If you can call even Calder Smith that." He looked at his watch and realized it was almost curfew. He stood up quickly and made a quick getaway before the look on Lily's face materialized into words. He ran down the hall towards the Ravenclaw Tower, looking back at his laughing sister. He should have known talking to Lily would be such a good distraction from his troubles.

Until he reached his dorm room and saw a shirtless Scorpius sitting on his bed, innocently doing homework. Ignoring the stirring in his stomach, he quickly brushed his teeth and got into bed, firmly turning himself away from Scorpius.

His dreams that night definitely did not include the muscular blond.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Nice long chapter this time! :) 4.5K!

Scorpius woke up the next morning at the crack of dawn when sunlight came through the open window to his bed. Everybody else was still asleep. Al looked gorgeous as ever, stretched out on his stomach. He was turned away from Scorpius, so the blond spent a long moment aching to touch his dark hair or run his fingers over the muscles of Al's bare back.

Time to stop thinking about Al. They were done; Al had made that clear enough. He had bloody Dan Gaither now. He rolled over and, to his dismay, caught a glimpse of Michael.

Michael's reaction last night had been worse than he feared. There was no anger, no pointed looks, no loud sighs. When Lena had asked what was wrong, he faked a smile and said, "I'm happy for you," disappointment radiating out of him at the sight of their joined hands. Scorpius was miserable. His best friend hated him. But he didn't have a choice. He couldn't let his father think he was a homosexual.

When Lena sat in his arms, he could no longer pretend she was just there as a friend. He couldn't tell himself that she didn't fancy him. And when Lena kissed his cheek before they went to their separate dorm rooms that night, Scorpius flinched. He wondered how long he had until he had to kiss her, to hug her. He didn't want to feel the press of her chest against his anymore. It felt so different from when Al hugged him. He missed the feel of Al's hard muscles under his hands. He missed the deepness of Al's voice in his ear when Al told him he loved him. He missed the hardness that answered his own when he wrapped his legs around Al's waist. He missed being able to confide in someone. He didn't know when he had started to miss Al. And he didn't want to think about why Lena's face in his mind always turned into Al's. He had tried so hard to only think about curves and softness and long hair when he wanked, but everything had just become Al.

And he hated himself for it.

So he had decided to love Lena, whatever it took. He knew he could do it. He had to be able to do it. And when Lena came down that morning before breakfast, he would force down the sickness in his stomach and take her hand. The thinness of her fingers would feel wrong in his hand. But this was the way it had to be. He had to marry a girl one day, so he might as well get used to it now. He resolved that he would kiss her that day. He had no choice.

"Scorp, can I talk to you?" Meagan. Sitting in the Common Room when he came downstairs. Possibly the last person he had expected to be up that early.

"Er, sure?" He guessed Michael had told her. They didn't really keep secrets from one another. He sat down next to her, dreading every second of that talk.

"Scorp, you've been my friend since we came here. I stood by you since that first year. I even stood up for you when people hated you because you were a Malfoy. People eventually learned that you weren't your father or, Merlin forbid, your grandfather. You wouldn't use people that way, just to further your own needs." She looked at him carefully, judging his reaction. "But Lena is my best friend. My _best_ friend. And I can tell there's something wrong with what happened between you last night."

Scorpius tried to interrupt. "Mea, it's just that it's new. She's fancied me for years, and I always knew, but I never acted upon it."

He had fallen into her trap. "She told me that you had fancied her for years, Scorp. _Why_ didn't you act upon it?"

He didn't answer. He couldn't.

"Scorp, I can't stand beside you if you're using her for something. I don't think you would do that. You've always been a nice bloke, even if you've hidden something big from us for years. We all can tell, you know. We don't know what it is, but it's something important or you'd share it."

Scorpius shook his head. "I'm not hiding anything."

"My best guess is that it has to do with your father. We know he's really conservative, and when he finds out that your best friend is gay, he's going to be really upset, I would guess. But Scorp, you've been miserable since you and Al had that big fight over something. Everybody can tell. And I can't stand by you if you're using Lena to take out your feelings regarding Al."

Scorpius flinched at how close she had come to the truth. "It doesn't have anything to do with my father," he told her.

"And Michael's mad at you too. He won't tell me why. I thought it was because you were so homophobic about your best friend, but it's something else, isn't it?"

Again, he couldn't answer.

"Scorpius… is Al Potter in love with you or something? Is that what the fight is about?" She looked at him almost mournfully.

He seized the explanation. "He is," he said forcefully. "And I told him that I'm not… _like_ him. I like _girls_ like… Lena." His voice died at the end, pausing dreadfully on Lena's name.

She hugged him. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I mean, I've been through enough guys asking me to be their girlfriend just because they're nice to me. It's awful, really." She laughed sadly. "People call it 'friend-zoning,' as if the boy's position was only important. They forget that it really sucks to be on the other side."

Scorpius nodded absently. "It sucks," he agreed quietly. They sat in silence until other people started to come down for breakfast.

-o-

After class, Scorpius retreated to the library. He couldn't deal with Michael's disappointment or Meagan's "understanding" pity or Lena Farley or Al Potter. And especially not any mentions of Dan Gaither.

He stumbled over the principles of Vanishment of frogs and toads. Squinting at the old scribbles in _Transfigurations of Amphibious Fresh Water Dwellers: A Complete Guide_, he flinched when a hand tapped him on his shoulder.

"Ooh, so sorry," a deep voice said.

Scorpius looked up into the blue eyes of Dan Gaither.

"Mind if I sit here?" Dan Gaither asked.

Scorpius did in fact mind, but he nodded, moving the spread-out textbooks to the side. He was aware of the dark look he was giving the other boy, but he didn't feel like rectifying that, so he continued to glare.

"Er," Dan Gaither said.

"Articulate," Scorpius observed rudely.

Dan Gaither flushed and swallowed. "Er, Malfoy, you probably know that I've been, er, going out with Albus recently—"

"Al," Scorpius said. "He hates Albus. Surely you know that, if you've been, as you say, going out with him." The words felt like sandpaper on his tongue, but it contributed nicely to the dry drawl he was going for.

Dan Gaither nodded. "Er, _yes_, I know that. But, er, I really do like him, and I know you and he have not been getting along very well recently, and, er, I hope I'm not the cause of it."

Scorpius looked at him calmly. "And if you were, what would you do?"

Dan Gaither avoided his gaze. "Er… I dunno, I suppose."

The blond smiled grimly. "Then I would appreciate you staying out of my business with Potter. It doesn't quite concern you, as I'm sure you're well aware."

Dan Gaither stood up. "He's my _boyfriend_, in case you weren't aware, Malfoy. His business is my business."

Scorpius flushed angrily. "He was _my_ best friend before he was your fuckbuddy, Gaither." He fought to keep his voice under control.

Dan Gaither grabbed his nicely laundered cloak. "He's not my fuckbuddy. In case you were wondering, we haven't done any of that yet, not that _that_'s any of your business. Just because you're jealous—"

"I am not jealous!" Scorpius spat.

Dan Gaither yanked him upright. "Oh, yes, you are, Malfoy," he hissed. "I can see it in your eyes. You want to have my boyfriend all to yourself, you want to kiss him and hug him and—"

"I do not want to kiss Al Potter!" Scorpius yelled into the quiet of the library. Suddenly realizing how loudly he had said it, he pushed Dan Gaither away and sat down, turning so he couldn't see the boy's face—or the stares of the other students around them. He didn't see the Gryffindor leave.

-o-

Dan Gaither knocked on the door to Ravenclaw Tower. He jumped when the brass eagle knocker opened its mouth and squawked at him. "A creature cannot be killed by man, and yet it is slain. How so?" He couldn't answer its riddle, so he sat patiently outside at its door in the hope that somebody would walk by. To his horror, ten minutes later, he saw the last person he wanted to see.

"Er, I suppose you'll be wanting to go inside to see Al, then?"

Scorpius had recognized the Dan Gaither from the bottom of the stairs and had hoped that somebody else would come by. He couldn't just leave him standing there though; Scorpius had to go inside and put his books down.

"I'm sorry," Dan Gaither said genuinely.

"For what?" Scorpius responded snidely. "For our discussion in the library?"

Dan Gaither ran his hand through his hair. "I, er, I didn't know…"

Scorpius felt obligated to say, "Know what?" despite the churning in his stomach.

"That, er, you liked Al Potter. I can back off, if you want me to."

"I _don't!_" Scorpius hissed. "Why does everybody think I do?"

Dan Gaither avoided the question. "So you don't care if I go out with him?"

Scorpius crossed his arms over his chest. "He's my best friend first."

Dan Gaither grinned. "Okay, Malfoy."

"Scorpius."

"What?"

"Scorpius. If you're going to date my best friend, you have to get my approval first."

Dan Gaither said, "I thought you liked Scorp."

Scorpius looked away. "Don't call me Scorp."

"What, is that Al's nickname for you?" Dan Gaither laughed.

"Al calls me Scorpius."

"Ah, so as his boyfriend, I have to call you Scorpius, too?" Dan Gaither smiled.

Scorpius met his eyes. "You're not his boyfriend. And just don't call me Scorp."

Dan Gaither raised his hands in defence. "Sorry, mate."

Scorpius frowned and arched an eyebrow in an excellent imitation of his father. "Did you want to go in?"

Dan Gaither looked at the Ravenclaw eagle doorknocker as if he had forgotten it was even there. "Oh. Er, yes. I didn't know the riddle."

Scorpius hoped it was one he could answer easily. He lifted his hand to the eagle and knocked sharply. He noted Dan Gaither's jump as the eagle spoke. "A creature cannot be killed by man, and yet it is slain. How so?" Smiling broadly, he answered confidently, "By the strength of woman, of course. After you," he said, sweeping his hand towards the door as it swung open.

Dan Gaither walked cautiously in. Al was, fortunately or unfortunately—Scorpius wasn't quite sure yet—sitting in plain sight with Lena, Michael, and Meagan.

Lena leaped up when she saw him and gave him a hug. Scorpius wrapped his arms around her unwillingly, watching Al give a shy smile to Dan Gaither. A flare of jealously burst in his chest, and he forced it down. He would not be jealous of Dan Gaither. Stupid Dan Gaither. He couldn't even answer the eagle's easy riddle.

Lena pulled him down to sit next to her while Dan Gaither took his place next to Al. Scorpius couldn't help but feel as if they were in a standoff.

Al made introductions. "Dan, this is Meagan Burkes and that's her boyfriend, Michael Blaxley. And it seems like you met Scorpius. Lena Farley's his… er…" he trailed off awkwardly.

"Girlfriend," Lena supplied at the same time as Scorpius coughed loudly. They looked at each other uncomfortably.

"Er, yes," Al said. "And, I suppose, this is Daniel Gaither. My, er, boyfriend." He looked at Scorpius as he said it. Scorpius felt his face heating up and cursed his inability to conceal his emotions. He broke away from Al's heavy gaze.

Al blushed and turned away.

Dan Gaither smiled. "Call me Dan." He blinked as he searched for something to say. "Er, are you all in fifth year then, like Al?"

Meagan nodded. "Yeah. We're preparing for our OWLs this year. You took them last year, right? How were they? I'm told they were absolutely brutal last year so they're making them easier this year. Practically nobody got O's. I'll probably only get one, maybe two, which is, honestly, somewhat embarrassing. I would say to help Al, but he'll get perfect scores, of course. You should help me." She smiled at him. Scorpius wondered if she was trying to be flirtatious.

Dan Gaither laughed. "You won't want help from me, Meagan. I didn't get a single O last year for my OWLs. I was lucky to pass Charms actually, just barely scraped an Acceptable. Nearly got a Dreadful, though." Of all the Ravenclaws, Lena probably looked the most shocked, although it was hard to tell. Al blushed. Dan seemed oblivious to their reactions. Scorpius remembered when Lena had groaned about an Exceeds Expectations.

"What are you planning on _doing_ then?" Lena exclaimed after a pause.

"Probably something with Muggles. Cover-up, or something like that. Like what Al's grandfather did."

"James Potter?" Meagan asked. "I didn't know he worked with Muggles."

"No, my mom's father," Al responded. "Arthur Weasley."

"He was brilliant," Dan Gaither agreed. "One of the best in the field, ever. Practically nobody knows about his work, though—which is why he was so good. In his field, if you're well known, it means you're not doing your job right. Can I meet your cousin, Al?" he asked abruptly.

"Rosie?" Al looked around. "She's around here, somewhere…" he trailed off awkwardly.

"She's in the library," Scorpius said, only then realizing that he had noticed her while he was there before. "Or at least, she was." Al should have known where his cousin was, he thought, annoyed. Rose had been one of Al's closest friends up until his coming out. And then he had tossed her aside like week-old bread. Perhaps, he thought, if he wanted to get Al back, Rose Weasley would be a good place to start.

Although… did he want to get Al back? _Yes_, hissed his heart. _You love him_. His brain disagreed. _If you get him back, you'll have to come out, too. And your father won't like that._ He tried to ignore them. Rose Weasley deserved a friend, he decided. With Al acting so… not Al, Scorpius could be that friend. He should reach out to her. He'd do it that night. After… after he kissed Lena. A girl. After he kissed a girl.

He shuddered. Lena looked at him with concern. "You okay?" she cooed into his ear. He nodded.

"Fine," he responded. He forced himself to relax against her. She couldn't know how much her touch repulsed him. _It doesn't repulse me_, he told himself. _She's a girl. You like her softness, her curves, her smallness. You like how she curls into you—like how you used to do with Al._ He cursed Al in his mind. Why had he come up? He liked how Lena burrowed into him. He did.

-o-

Al watched Scorpius's face closely. He knew the other boy well enough to know when he was arguing with himself. He did do that a lot. Al smiled to himself then caught the grin playing at the corner of his mouth. Scorpius thought he was good at hiding his reactions; he wasn't at all. Lena, as smart as she was in academics, had always been horrid at picking up on when Scorpius didn't want her around. She was almost as socially clueless as Rosie when it came to Scorpius. But when it came to Al, she was as good as Elizabeth. He caught her looking at him. He was grateful when Dan—his boyfriend—poked him in the side.

"Al?"

He turned to Dan. "Mmm?"

"Shall we go then?"

"Where?" he asked, pulled out of his thoughts of Scorpius Malfoy.

"To the library? I don't think I've ever met your cousin. She never comes to the Gryffindor Tower, and anyhow I barely know anybody in Gryffindor's fifth year."

"Oh. Sure," Al responded.

Dan leaped up. Al felt like ignoring the hand reached out to help him up, but felt that it would be rude. He had always been the one holding out his hand to Scorpius. It had made him feel needed, wanted. Not useless, like this. But he smiled as he put his hand into Dan's and stood up.

He caught Scorpius looking at him. No doubt the blond knew exactly what was going through his head. When Dan moved to pull his hand away, he held tight to his new boyfriend's hand, keeping Scorpius's gaze. Perhaps it was childish, but it felt good. Scorpius put his arm around Lena.

When he turned to Dan, his new boyfriend was smiling at him. They walked out the Ravenclaw Common Room and descended the stairs, still holding hands.

Dan's hand felt uncomfortable in his, somehow wrong. Probably because it wasn't Scorpius's. Al pushed the feeling aside.

"Is your friend… er…" Dan said into the silence.

Al looked at him. "Sorry?"

Dan tried again. "Does he… er… sorry if this is awkward, but does he, I suppose, prefer male company?"

"Who?" Al said as his mind jumped to Scorpius. He tried not to let his face betray his emotions.

"Your friend Scorpius. Scorpius Malfoy. You know, the blond?" Dan said, squeezing his hand in a way that was, in Al's opinion, somewhat possessive.

"Scorpius?" Al asked again

"Yes," Dan said, confirming. "Is he gay?"

"Er…. why would you think that?" Al said, dodging the question.

"Merlin, Al. How could I not? Putting aside the way he looks at you and talks about you … well, er, the way he dresses, with his skinny Muggle jeans and the way he does his hair. The way he looks so uncomfortable around Lena. The way he blushes whenever you look at him. That, and the relatively well-known fact that his father is homophobic—he's been campaigning against the legalization of equal marriage for years—so he would never come out."

"Er," Al said.

"He is, isn't he?" Dan asked, looking at Al.

"I dunno," Al said carefully.

"Yes, you do," Dan said, dropping his hand. Al looked down the corridor, making sure nobody was near enough to hear their conversation. Dan put his hand on Al's shoulder. "Listen, Al, you don't need to confirm it. I know it's true. He likes you, doesn't he?"

"He's not gay," Al said automatically, his eyes darting away.

Dan looked fiercely at Al's face. "You're lying to me. It's okay, I know that you've been friends for years. It's only natural that you'd want to protect him, especially with his father being the way he is. But I'm the last person who would ever out him. You have to believe me."

Al looked at his shoes and didn't respond.

"Does he fancy you?" Dan asked.

Al nodded silently.

Dan sighed. He caught Al's hand and rubbed his thumb over the back. They both looked at their joined hands.

"Look at me," Dan demanded after a moment.

Al met his eyes unwillingly.

"I don't want to just be somebody that you're with because you can't be with somebody else, Al. What I said that day was true. I really do like you. I have for years. I don't want to be second best." Al found it hard to watch Dan's blue eyes. "But, Al, I want to at least try. I'll be second best for you, for now. But you can't keep pining after him, okay? You have to try, too. Is that fair?"

Al nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

Dan laced his fingers through Al's hand. Al swallowed.

"I'm going to kiss you, now," Dan whispered. Without waiting for a response, he dipped his head and planted his lips on Al's.

The kiss was… not Scorpius. That was all Al could think. It wasn't soft like Scorpius. Dan's hand was hard against his back, his other hand gripping Al's tightly. It wasn't tender like Scorpius's. But it was willing, which was definitely different from Scorpius's kisses. Al liked kissing in the middle of the hall. But he didn't know if he liked being kissed. He felt like he wasn't taking part.

Dan's lips pulled away. His hand slid up Al's back into his hair. He looked carefully at Al's face, and Al tried to betray he wasn't thinking about Scorpius. And yet Dan seemed to find something there. He sighed and moved away from Al, drawing his hands into the pockets of his robes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, not with you thinking about… _him_."

Al looked down. "No, Dan, please. Don't be sorry. But… can we please figure out what we are? Are we friends? Dating? Boyfriends?"

"I'd like to be. Boyfriends, I mean." Dan looked earnestly at Al's bowed head and smiled when Al lifted his gaze. "Would… would you?"

Al furrowed his brow. "I think so."

Dan frowned. "You _think_ so? What do you want, Albus?"

Albus. He hated his stupid name. Scorpius knew that. "Yeah, I think so. That's going to have to be good enough for now, Daniel." Childish. How stupid of him.

"Fine, you're right. We barely know each other. Tell me one thing about yourself that I don't know."

"I hate my name."

Dan looked surprised. "What, Albus? It's a good name. Dumbledore's, right?"

"Albus Severus Potter. I hate it."

"Why?"

"Aside from Albus being an old person's name, I'm named after this crazy old bloke who kept things from my dad for years. And everybody always acts like it's such an honour, which is stupid. And then there's Severus. Severus Snape, of course. He hated my family. I cannot see him appreciating the fact that my dad named me after him. But worst, worst of all: Potter. Everybody expects me to be great at Quidditch and at Defence and at being the perfect person, especially since I look just like him. But we're nothing alike, really."

"Oh," Dan said. "But aren't you good at Quidditch?"

"That's part of the problem. That's why I didn't try out, Dan. I didn't want to become the brilliant Seeker and just become Harry Potter II. I want to be me."

"So who are you?" Dan asked.

"I don't know."

A pause. "What do you want me to call you, then? If you hate your name."

"Al. Just Al."

Dan touched Al's arm in a strangely intimate gesture. "Okay." Al felt shivers run through him. Of what type, he couldn't say.

"Your turn," Al said.

Dan pinched his eyes closed as he thought. Finally, still with his eyes closed, he said. "I'm the only one with magic in my family."

"I didn't know you were Muggleborn," Al murmured. "My Aunt Hermione is too, you know."

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm the only one, except for my mum. Her magic is really weak, like mine. I have three sisters, and the magic didn't carry through to them. My father's Muggle, but he knows about the Wizarding World, of course."

"That must be… hard," Al said softly.

"Yeah," Dan agreed. "My sisters are all really jealous, but they don't understand how hard it is to be in this world with weak magic. I noticed the look on your friends' faces when I told them I barely passed Charms. The thing is, I'm brilliant at Muggle subjects. I got an O in Arithmancy and History of Magic. Those are easy. But Charms and Transfiguration… I'm _awful_ at those. I do everything right, but it doesn't matter. I just can't do magic sometimes, Al." He caught Al's eye and blushed. "Sorry if that was too much."

Al shook his head. He wrapped his arms around Dan's waist and pulled him close, tilting his head up to reach the slightly taller Dan's lips.

"Al…" Dan breathed in the moment before their lips pressed together. He drew his hand gently through Al's hair, and Al felt guilty for wishing Dan's hair was thin and blond and his eyes grey.

-o-

Scorpius was reading on his bed when Al opened the door to their dorm. "Sorry, I didn't know you were in here," Al blurted.

Scorpius smiled. "It's alright, Al." He noticed that Al looked a bit kissed and frowned.

"Can we talk?" Al's voice interrupted his train of thoughts. "_Colloportus_," he said, locking the door behind him.

"Sure," Scorpius said, moving over on his bed to make room. When Al sat next to him, he realised he had forgotten how comfortable Al felt next to him. The only thing was missing was Al's arm around his shoulders. He hadn't realized what he had had until it was gone.

And then Al's arm snaked over his shoulders in a comfortable way. It felt so natural, Scorpius wasn't even sure Al noticed he had done it. He leaned into Al. He almost didn't care if the door opened right then.

"Scorpius," Al murmured.

Scorpius's lips parted. He didn't want to betray how much he missed Al.

"Please, Scorpius. I hate being without you. I know you're scared that people will figure it out, but can we please be friends?" He rested his head against Scorpius's.

"Of course," Scorpius whispered. "Anything."

"I miss you, Scorpius," Al breathed so quietly Scorpius could barely hear it. "So much."

Scorpius turned into Al's side, tucking himself into the boy's warmth. "I miss you, too," he mouthed against Al's shoulder. "Don't keep doing this to us."

He had said the wrong thing. Al pulled his arm back. "You're the one who did this, Scorpius," he said. "You were holding me back."

"I won't do it anymore."

"I know," Al sighed. "I won't let you."

Scorpius was reduced to begging. "Give me another chance, Al," he clutched at Al's shirt.

"I can't. I've already given you too many second chances. This time, Scorpius, you have to earn it."

Scorpius nodded solemnly. It was better than he had expected. "Okay," he said. "If that's what you want."

Al put his arm back around the blond comfortably. Scorpius rested his head against Al's shoulder. "I have to do work," Scorpius whispered, not wanting to break the moment.

"So do it," Al said. "I'll read with you."

And that's what they did. Scorpius read with Al's warmth beside him, with Al holding him, with Al loving him again. He had never been more comfortable. Al kissed the top of his head once, absent-mindedly. Scorpius blushed softly.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Sorry this is late, and sorry it's so short. I've had a terrible case of writer's block, and this is all I managed to get out that wasn't completely horrid. Please forgive me! When I get over it, I'll have something long and lovely for you! Please R&R!

Thank you so much to simplysimpre and myprofoundfantasy for their wonderful reviews! And yes, I like Dan, too. He's not going to be happy throughout the story, but he'll be happy at the end! He's a good guy, I couldn't leave him upset. :) - Storm

Chapter 7

Scorpius woke up in the middle of the night to a creaking noise and a quiet "Shite." His neck had a crick in it, and he rubbed it as he snuggled under his blankets sleepily. He rolled over and realized the side of his bed was warm. Memories came flooding back suddenly, and he sat up quickly. "Al?" he whispered hoarsely.

Apparently, the other boy was awake, for his curtains parted and a dark head poked itself in only seconds later. "Hey," the other boy whispered.

"What happened?" Scorpius demanded, keeping his voice low.

Al opened the drapes wider. "Can I come in?" he asked tentatively. Against his better judgement, Scorpius found himself nodding yes. Al slid in beside him. "You fell asleep. I put your book on the table. You were really asleep, so I tried not to wake you. You looked like you needed the sleep, Scorpius," he said. Scorpius nodded again. "So I just closed your curtains and mine. Don't worry; nobody knows I'm in here." He looked seriously at Scorpius. "I wouldn't do that."

"I know," Scorpius whispered. "I know you would never."

Al continued quietly, "But I had to piss. Sorry I woke you."

"Don't be," Scorpius said.

"I didn't want to wake you, Scorpius. That's why I stayed, honest," he whispered earnestly.

"I know."

"I'll go back to my own bed now." Al pushed himself away from Scorpius, but the blond caught his hand.

"Don't go," Scorpius murmured. A moment of weakness, he promised himself.

Al was surprisingly open to his suggestion. "Okay," he whispered immediately. He lay down and Scorpius snuggled down next to him. "But just as friends, okay?" he asked.

"Just as friends," Scorpius confirmed. "I know you have Dan Gaither."

"Yeah, Dan…" Al pulled Scorpius to rest on his chest and wrapped his arm protectively around the other boy.

Scorpius relaxed against his chest, feeling his heart beat slowly. "Just friends. Best friends, right?"

"Best friends," Al agreed.

"I love you," Scorpius murmured, clasping the other boy's hand in his own. "As a friend."

"As a friend," Al said as he drifted off.

-o-

When Al woke to Saturday morning sunshine, the bed was still warm, but empty. He couldn't hear any sounds in the room, so he guessed it was safe to exit Scorpius's bed. The room was empty, but somebody—probably Scorpius—was using the bathroom. He opened his wardrobe and grabbed the first jeans and shirt he saw.

"You're never going to convince anybody you're gay if you wear that," Scorpius's voice came from the bathroom.

Turning around quickly, Al laughed when he saw the blond. A toothbrush in his mouth and paste on his lips, his hair in disarray: Scorpius was a mess from the neck up. But below the neck, his body was tucked into the tight clothing the slim blond seemed to prefer. Al preferred it as well.

"What?" Scorpius demanded, his voice muffled by toothpaste.

"And what about your outfit?" Al asked, a twinkle in his eye despite the time. He had slept well last night.

"Shut up," Scorpius grumbled.

"Maybe we should switch clothes," the dark-haired boy laughed.

"As if you could possibly fit into mine. I have a… physique that you, Al, seem to lack."

Scorpius was so easy to rile up in the mornings. One of the many things Al loved—_as a friend_—about him. As a friend. He had to remember that. He was meeting Dan for breakfast at the Gryffindor table. Dan. He had to remember he was dating Dan. He was glad Scorpius was talking to him again.

They walked down to a late breakfast together. Al, a little late—as always—to meet Dan, murmured a quick "bye" to Scorpius and flashed him a smile. Scorpius blushed a little. He wished he could control it; it seemed like his face was always red lately. He saw Rose Weasley sitting at the end of the Ravenclaw table, alone. She was reading a thick, dusty book and absent-mindedly eating. Most of her attention was focused on the tome and the pad on which she was frantically scribbling notes.

"Hello, Rosie," Scorpius said.

Rose looked up, startled. "Malfoy," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"What, no 'Scorpius?'" he said, mildly confused. She had always called him Scorpius before. They had known each other relatively well, with her being Al's best friend and cousin, but were by no means close friends. Perhaps the use of her nickname had been too friendly. 'Rose' may have been more appropriate.

"Can't a bloke sit somewhere without having his motives questioned?" Scorpius asked petulantly, spooning eggs onto his plate.

"No," Rose replied, looking back at her book. "But if you don't mind, I'm going to go back to reading on the uses of bubotuber inner crust." Her eyes never left the book as she forked a bite of fruit into her mouth.

Scorpius sighed loudly, hoping to get her attention. After a few moments of fidgeting, Rose broke the silence, still reading, "So, what is it that you want?"

"You would have done well in Slytherin," Scorpius observed.

"Of course I wouldn't," she replied, scribbling down something onto her notepad. "I don't scheme, nor do I trick. I merely observe."

"Ambitious and clever enough, though."

She didn't confirm or deny his statement. "I'm a Ravenclaw. What do you want, Malfoy?"

"Why are you calling me Malfoy?"

"We're not friends. Never were. As my cousin's… er, close friend, however, you deserved to be on first name basis. But now, Dan Gaither has that right." She glanced up at him. "I would be sorry, but I never liked you anyway. What is it, though, that you want? You must want something, or you wouldn't be sitting here."

"Blunt, much?"

She didn't even glance at him.

Scorpius sighed. "I want Al."

"Obviously. I think that everyone except your _girlfriend_ knows."

Well, at least there was one person still oblivious. He needed Lena.

"You know he'll never go out with you until you and Lena break up, and you come out."

He did know that. He didn't like to think about it, though. He couldn't come out, but he desperately needed to be with Al. He would be a better boyfriend this time, he promised himself. It was fear, last time, that kept him from showing Al how much he loved him. This time, as long as he had Lena, he was fine.

She studied him. "You really miss him, don't you?"

Scorpius nodded solemnly. "Yeah." His voice cracked.

"What are you going to do?"

"To get him back?" he looked at her. "I'm working on—"

"No, to prove to me that you deserve him this time. You were a horrid boyfriend, honestly, Malfoy. You never acted like you felt anything whatsoever for a friend."

Scorpius looked at her steadily, confidently. "I don't know yet. But just watch me with him. We're friends, again, now. And I promise I'll be better this time. I can't be without him, I know that now. I'll do anything for him."

"Anything?"

"Except that," he said, reading her tone. "I won't come out, not even for him. You know I can't. My father… he'll cut me off. Or worse, hurt me. Kill me. You know I can't. He told me to stay away from Al now that he's out. Rosie, you've got to believe me."

She thought, then nodded carefully. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'll help you. I hate seeing Al like this. But you have to break up with Lena."

"No, I can't," he said earnestly. "She's my protection. She's the only reason my father doesn't know I… prefer blokes."

She sighed. "Fine. But you have to know that I do not stand behind you on that."

"I know," Scorpius said. "I know it's wrong to hurt her like that. But I don't see what choice I have."

"You always have a choice, Scorpius. Always."

"Not here."

"_Always_."


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Thank you AGAIN to simplysempre. I really do appreciate your reviews! Have a lovely read. xoxo Storm

Chapter 8

Al flinched when Dan kissed him on the cheek. "Hi, Al," Dan murmured quietly, as if a protective bubble surrounded them.

"Hello," Al said, forcing a smile. Dan put his arm around Al and shovelled a spoonful of scrambled eggs into his mouth. The Ravenclaw fought the urge to move away. Dan's body didn't feel anything like—no, he wasn't going there. He had to push Scorpius away. Perhaps sleeping in the same bed as Scorpius hadn't been the best idea he had ever had. _Kissing him was the best idea I ever had_, his traitorous brain said. _This was second best_. He tried to shove the thoughts away and relax into Dan. Dan, his boyfriend.

Lena squeezed into the Gryffindor table across from them, shoving two people to the side.. "_Al!_" she squealed. "Are you and Scorpius friends again?"

Al choked on his pumpkin juice. Dan patted him hard on the back, trying to dispel the liquid. His face red—from the choking—he managed to cough out, "I suppose so."

"Oh, good. Mea and I saw you two walking in together, and we were so excited that Scorpius was so awful. It's been so awkward, you know, with us finally getting to know you and then Scorpius being an arse." _Word choice, Lena_, Al pleaded silently. "So, when did you make out?"

Al stared at her in shock. "What?"

"Al, are you alright?" Dan asked, concerned.

"When did you make up?" Lena repeated. "Last night?"

He had heard wrong. He nodded.

"Last night?" Dan asked, going tense against his side.

Al nodded. "We talked and studied together," he said, trying to reassure Dan. He probably shouldn't have left out their sleeping arrangements, but since it was an accident, it didn't count, right? Surely not. He had a good reason for keeping it secret: he didn't want to scare Dan without cause.

Dan relaxed and returned to his food, shoving it in his mouth. His manners were horrid compared—no. His manners were horrid. Period. Not compared to anyone. Al wanted to force him to slow down and chew a little. He took a delicate bite of his food, hoping that Dan would notice and copy him. Although, after Al's choking fit, perhaps Dan was not looking to mimic his boyfriend.

Across the room, Scorpius was carefully spreading jam on his toast. Al looked away.

"So, what are your plans today?" Lena asked.

"We've got a massive Potions exam coming up, Lena. Studying, of course," Al reminded her bluntly.

"True," she replied, staring worriedly at her eggs as if they were about to jump up and attack her. "Did you and Scorpius study that last night?" Al couldn't remember. He didn't know how to reply, and was grateful when Lena ploughed on, "Didn't Fortegan say that the Invigoration Draught was sure to be on the exam?"

"Well, isn't that what we're studying? Why wouldn't it be on the exam?" Dan asked.

"We're talking about the O.W.L." Al reminded him tiredly. Dan's arm was starting to bother him.

"Oh," Dan said. He shrank back in his seat a bit and finally removed his arm from Al's waist.

"I don't quite think I understand the theory of how the cockroach legs make the salamander blood more effective," Al said suddenly.

Lena rolled her eyes. "Honestly, it's like you never pay attention in class."

"I don't," Al said, grinning.

"I bet you pay better attention than I do," Dan interrupted. They both ignored him.

"Merlin, Al, what is salamander blood used for?"

"I dunno… Love Potions and Strengthening Potions?"

"Al, they're only used in Love Potions when you need to strengthen the effect of the Potion itself. They're not actually necessary in most potions, except, of course, a Strengthening Potion."

Al blinked. "So the salamander blood makes the cockroach legs more effective, not the other way around."

"Thank you, Al. See, salamander blood's use as a fortifier in most potions was discovered when Noel Orpington accidentally added it to a regular Truth Potion and made the earliest version of Veritaserum…" Lena continued on. Al abandoned his breakfast in favour of listening to her, and Dan sat back in his seat, bored, and put his arm back around Al. It didn't even bother the black-haired boy this time. He didn't notice it.

-o-

Scorpius couldn't get used to the total cold shoulder Rose was giving him. He didn't know if it even counted as a cold shoulder, actually. She just seemed totally unaware that he was there. Scorpius had been ignored plenty in the past week, but Rose Weasley was in a league of her own. He wasn't sure if it would make a straight boy pursue her or completely put him off. Probably the latter. "What are you studying?" he asked her for the third time in a row.

"Bubotuber," she replied absentmindedly. "Fascinating subject, really. I'm honestly surprised that nobody's ever put it in a Beautification Salve. It would rid the skin of any blemishes, I think. The pus, of course, not the inner crust. I wonder what that would do. Perhaps I'll try it." She didn't look up.

"Of course…" Scorpius echoed. Bubotuber pus and crust and gross stuff like that. Why a girl would want to put that on her face in order to clean up any blemishes, he had no idea. He stood up. "I'm going to the Common Room."

She _mmm_'d at him.

Rose Weasley was one of the most vexing people he had ever met. How Al had become so close to her, he had no idea. Al could worm his way into anybody's heart, he decided. He was so… Dan's boyfriend. _Not for long_, he promised himself. He would do it himself, even if Rose wouldn't help him.

-o-

"Al, do you want to go get lunch?" Dan asked some hours later. They were studying outside against a tree. He was somewhat vexed because Al wasn't touching him or paying any attention whatsoever to him.

"Erm, sorry?" Al asked.

"Do you want to go get lunch? I'm starving."

"After all you ate at breakfast? What time is it anyway?"

Dan blushed. "I didn't eat that much…"

"What time is it?"

"Lunchtime," Dan said, going for humour. Al didn't laugh. "Nearly noon."

Al smiled. "We've been studying for three hours?"

"You've been studying for three hours," Dan pointed out gruffly. "I've been sitting here. Do you want to go eat?"

"You could have left and gone and done something if you wanted. Or you could have studied with me." Al returned to his notes. "I'm almost done studying the Draught."

"We haven't studied any droughts in History of Magic, have we?" Dan asked, suddenly panicked. "I don't remember that!"

"Invigoration Draught, Dan. The one for the Potions exam that's on Friday. Five days. Haven't you studied it yet?"

Dan shook his head. "I'll study tomorrow. Today I want to relax. It's Sunday; even God rested on Sunday."

Al rolled his eyes. "God?"

"Never mind," Dan said, avoiding an argument. "Do you want to go get lunch?"

Al felt guilty. He shouldn't be picking fights with Dan just because he had the wrong colour hair. And the wrong colour eyes. And the wrong body type. And the wrong personality. And the— "Sure," he said, apology ringing in his tone. "Whatever you want, Dan." He smiled and squeezed Dan's hand. The Gryffindor looked visibly relieved.

"Thanks, Al."

"Of course," Al smiled, releasing Dan's hand and packing up his books. "You do know that you could do other things while I'm studying? I won't be offended. I know I study a lot."

Al caught a passing glance of jealousy in Dan's eyes. "I'd rather sit with you, Al. I'll read or something next time. You don't need to study with anybody else." They both knew the message was loud and clear.

Al nodded. "Okay, Dan," he said tiredly. His books packed up, he relinquished them without argument when Dan took them from his hand. He missed the feeling of carrying his own bag, and maybe occasionally Scorpius's. He hated feeling like a burden, but he didn't want to fight with Dan. "Let's go eat."

Dan smiled and the two walked back over towards the castle.

-o-

The rest of the day was uneventful, until curfew. From his perch on the couch, Scorpius saw Al, armed with books, make his way through the Common Room and up the stairs. Al caught his eye and grinned. Scorpius excused himself from his conversation with Michael and the others and followed the black-haired boy up the stairs a few minutes later.

To his surprise, Al was already seated on the bed when Scorpius entered. "Al?" he breathed.

"Do you want to study?" Al said calmly.

"Sure," Scorpius said, feeling the heat of a blush spread on his face. "I'd love to." He sat on the bed next to Al, pressing against him immediately despite the fact that there was plenty of room on either side of them. Al put his arm around Scorpius and tugged him closer, almost unconsciously." What are you studying?"

"Potions," Al murmured.

"Invigorating Draught? For the examination Friday? I'm lost on the salamander blood. I don't understand it's purpose."

"I can help you there," Al laughed. He seized the Potions textbook and placed it on both of their laps. Scorpius couldn't help but blush redder. It seemed, somehow, like an incredibly intimate gesture. Now, they were sharing a bed and a book, maybe tonight they would sleep next to each other again, maybe the next night they would be back to normal. And normal, of course, was with Al. Scorpius couldn't see how he had been so blind that he had lost the boy sitting next to him. He marvelled at both his ignorance and the easiness with which they had slid back into their old routine. He let Al's voice wash slowly, soothingly over him. The deep timbre of the boy's voice had always comforted him in a way that nothing else could. "See, Lena explained it to me earlier. See, salamander blood strengthens a lot of potions that it's mixed in. That's why it's put in the Strengthening Potion. The other ingredients are for the base; the salamander blood is more for potency. And see here, where it says…" Scorpius didn't even know what he was saying. He'd have Lena explain it to him another time. All he wanted to do was listen to Al forever and feel his body fitting comfortably into his. He rested his head on Al's shoulder and let his eyes wander over the book, seeing everything but reading nothing.

"And that's when I went to the moon," Al said.

"What?" Scorpius blinked out of his dreams. "What moon?"

"Just seeing if you were paying attention," Al laughed. "Clearly not. Do you have any idea what I was talking about?" Scorpius flushed again. It appeared to be the only thing he could do when he was around Al. Al laughed, long and softly, cuddling Scorpius in closer to him. "What did you do today?" he asked.

"Nothing important," Scorpius replied quietly. "Ate breakfast with your cousin and then did my Transfigurations essay. And then I hung out with Michael and Meagan… and Lena." Lena kept coming up, getting in the way of their friendship. Al wanted to punch Lena and snatch Scorpius away from her and…

"What did you do?" Scorpius said, looking at the textbook perched on their laps.

"Studied mostly. Dan watched me. He doesn't like studying, apparently. He also eats food like a caveman," Al drawled. "It's ridiculous and embarrassing. You eat so much better than he does, Scorpius."

"He doesn't like studying? What does he do?"

"I know, right?" Al laughed. "Good job he's not in Ravenclaw."

And it was good. Otherwise Dan Gaither might have interrupted them now, and Scorpius wasn't sure he could handle that. Al was his… at least for the time being. Not even Dan Gaither, Al's stupid boyfriend, could change that. He smiled, loving the feeling of Al's warm arm wrapped tight around his side. "Does he know you like being the one to carry bags and be the big spoon and put your arm around your boyfriend?" Scorpius blurted. He froze. That should not have come out. Apparently his filter had gone on a two second vacation.

Al tensed. "No," he answered after a long pause. "He doesn't."

"He likes to be the one to carry the bags?" Scorpius said hesitantly.

"You saw," Al said. Though the words were accusatory, his tone was anything but. Scorpius only nodded. "I hate it. I feel like such a burden on him, honestly. It's exhausting having to pretend that I want his arm around me when what I really want is—" he broke off, biting his lip.

"Is what?" Scorpius prompted gently.

"Is… to be the one to put my arm around… my boyfriend." Scorpius noted that he didn't say 'Dan.'

"Is that the way you see me?" Scorpius asked latching onto a point. "As a burden?"

Al looked surprised. "Of course not, Scorpius. You could never be a burden. I love getting—_loved _getting—to take care of you. It made me feel wanted and needed."

Scorpius looked pensive, and then cursed the words that sprung to his mind. He considered holding them back, but remembered what he really wanted was to see Al happy—even if it was with stupid Dan Gaither. "As someone on the opposite side of the scale, Al… maybe think about it more like he wants to protect you and take care of you. I think that you doing all that stuff for me makes me feel like you… shite." He trailed off and started again. "I think that if you look at it like he wants to do all of this stuff for you because he really likes you, maybe you'd be happier?" The words felt sour on his tongue. He didn't want Al to be happy with Dan Gaither, he wanted Al to be happy with _him_.

Al nodded slowly. "I'll think about it. Thanks, Scorpius." Scorpius only nodded. "Is that how you feel—felt?"

Scorpius nodded. "Yeah, that's how I feel." They both noticed his use of the present tense, but neither tried to change it. Scorpius changed subjects suddenly. "Will you…" he blushed. "Sleep—"

"Here tonight?" Al asked eagerly. Scorpius nodded, and Al continued, "'Course, Scorpius. You don't even need to ask." Scorpius curled into the black-haired boy's side and turned the page gingerly in the book.

They didn't get past another three pages before they decided they were too tired to do anything except for sleep.

Well, sleep and spoon.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Thank you, lovelies, for your beautiful reviews. In particular, myprofoundfantasy and simplysempre for their many reviews. Reviews are love and happiness! I wish a hundred fuzzy baby kitties on anybody who reviews (unless you're allergic, in which case I hope you have hypoallergenic kitties)! Kisses, Storm**

**AN2: This chapter was hard to write. I know Scorpius seems like an arse (remember, he's watching the boy he loves me all cutesy with another boy who he deems in some way superior to him), but I promise he'll be okay in the end. And I know many people are starting to like Dan Gaither (Scorpius calls him that because he feels uncomfortable with either Dan or Gaither), but don't worry about him! He'll be fine. xoxo :)**

**Oh, and disclaimer: I borrowed a few (four) lines of dialogue from the wonderful, adorable, and heart-wrenching indie film ****_Shelter_****, which I highly recommend that you all watch. It's been a secret fantasy of mine ever since I watched it to have someone say those lines with me… see if you can guess which lines they are. (Hint: They're the well-written ones).**

Chapter 9

The next morning, Al woke just before dawn. _Shite…_ he thought, staring at the platinum-haired boy beside him, looking almost angelic in his sleep. Scorpius's hair was slightly mussed in a way that he would never have allowed it to be. Al felt almost… honoured to see Scorpius like this, without a care in the world. He pulled Scorpius in to lie on his chest and ran his fingers slowly through the boy's hair, mussing it further and delighting in the silken touch.

As the sun's rays crept over the horizon, Scorpius woke in Al's arms. Peering sleepily up at Al, he blinked twice and then offered a little grin. "Hey…" his lips mouthed.

Al smiled down at him. "Hey," he mouthed back.

Scorpius clutched the fabric of Al's shirt and rested heavily against the black-haired boy. "What time is it?" he asked quietly, his speech blurred by sleep.

Al brushed Scorpius's hair back. "Dunno," he said. "Sunrise, but I don't know the exact time."

"We have classes today?" Scorpius asked, his Ravenclaw train of thought coming through in the early morning before even his teenaged boy's stomach.

Al nodded. "It's Tuesday. We've Transfigurations first, I think."

"You been watching me?"

Al flushed and his lips betrayed his brain. "You're so beautiful."

"Shut up," Scorpius murmured, closing his eyes again, his fist gathering more of Al's shirt in its grasp.

"Learn to take a compliment," Al drew his hand through Scorpius's hair for the millionth-and-first time, his fingertips instinctively tracing the little imperfections on the blonde's scalp.

Al felt Scorpius smile against his chest. "Thanks," he whispered, just loudly enough for Al to hear.

A few minutes of blissful silence passed. Al felt his eyelids drooping slowly when Scorpius murmured, "Al…"

"Mmmm?" Al said, jerking himself more awake.

But Scorpius didn't answer. Perhaps he had been asleep, or perhaps he just didn't want to tell Al the reason why he had murmured his name like that. Al couldn't decide which one he liked better.

As the room brightened slowly, Al carefully lifted the blonde off of his chest and moved into his own cold, lonely bed. It was missing something—Scorpius, to be precise. But with the way things were now, the… _closeness_… of their friendship had to be kept a secret. Scorpius didn't want to come out, and he had Lena anyway.

Al found he couldn't sleep. Perhaps he would have to get himself one of those Muggle boyfriend pillows, the ones with the arm that wraps around you. Or maybe a body pillow, so he could pretend it was Scorpius whenever he needed to. That sounded nice, he decided. Maybe he would actually get one.

-o-

It wasn't until Al walked into the Dining Hall that he remembered something he really shouldn't have forgotten. Or really, some_one_. His eyes lit upon the Gryffindor table and a head with raven hair that he realized that he hadn't once thought about Dan Gaither—his boyfriend—when he had been with Scorpius. He hadn't once considered what Dan would have thought had he walked in on them. Al knew it was just a close friendship, but at least he was aware that that's not necessarily precisely what it looked like. Two boys, one openly gay and the other closeted, cuddling on a bed together may have been Al's definition of a platonic relationship, but he doubted it was Dan's.

He made a decision. No more cuddles or anything else with Scorpius, at least while they were both dating other people. If he couldn't focus on anything else while he was with the platinum blond, he couldn't be doing anything with him that could be misinterpreted.

His brain liked the decision a lot more than something inside of him. It felt like a pit, almost, opened up. He felt nearly sick to his stomach, but forced himself to walk casually over to Dan's table.

"Hey, babe," Dan said, catching Al's hand. "Didn't see you much last night."

Was he supposed to give Dan his timetable of everything he did at exactly the moment he did it? Was Dan required to know of his whereabouts at all times just so he could be sure that Al wasn't being unfaithful? Dan was invading his privacy. He had a right to do what he wanted when he wanted with whomever he wanted without being monitored! Dan was treating him like a child and had no—

He came to the realization that he was perhaps being a little unfair towards Dan. Ignoring the pit in his stomach, he responded with an attempt at calm, "Sorry, I was studying." Dan nodded, and Al, feeling emptier than ever, leaned down haltingly to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek. "What did you do?"

"Attempted my Charms essay. I just hope I can get an A in that class, honestly. I'm on the borderline right now."

Al tugged on his boyfriend's hand, noting with irritation how cool and dry and not-clammy it was. "Come sit with me at the Ravenclaw table."

"Al, I'm already sitting here. You should sit here with me. You know we've always got a space for you," he said, glancing briefly around at his many Gryffindor friends, most of whom were looking at their food or talking to one another, ignoring the conversation between the two boys.

"But I always sit here," Al said, well aware of his petulant, whining tone. "Come sit with me today."

And Dan gave in easily, as he usually did. It was both irritating—Al wasn't sure if he actually wanted to get his way—and frustrating. Dan gave in too easily sometimes. It wasn't the best Gryffindor trait. He admired Scorpius's ability to give in strategically in order to get what he really wanted. And he wished he had the ability to get the blond boy out of his head.

So the school's only gay couple sat at the Ravenclaw table today. Michael didn't seem to know how to talk to Dan, and Lena and Meagan were discussing advanced Potions theory, which Dan couldn't follow at all. And Al wished he could say it wasn't horribly uncomfortable. But he couldn't. Scorpius, ironically enough, was the only one attempting to hold an actual conversation with Dan. In his own snarky, adorable, self-righteous way.

"Dan, you said you liked History of Magic, right?"

Dan nodded, a look in his eyes that Al read as a longing for the Gryffindor table. "Yeah, I like it. It makes sense, you know? And it's fascinating, because it's all so relevant to how we got here today. As the famous saying goes, 'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.' I think that's so important, especially with the time of You-Know-Who just barely in the past and already beginning to sound like the bogeyman."

"Never heard of it," Scorpius said smoothly, forking a slice of banana into his mouth.

"What, the bogeyman? It's this—"

Scorpius scoffed. "No, of course I've heard of the bogeyman. I haven't heard of this saying. Is it Muggle?"

Dan blushed red. He seemed to regard his understanding of Muggle society as an embarrassment. He nodded. "I suppose so."

"And you're good at Arithmetic, too?"

Dan grinned. "My favourite subject, actually. What's yours?"

"Not something learned in the Muggle world."

"Scorpius!" Al broke in angrily, aware of his boyfriend's embarrassment. Scorpius only smiled politely and continued.

"I like Transfigurations, personally."

Dan coughed by way of response.

"I could help you, if you want," Scorpius offered bluntly. "Al's pretty good at it, too, if you want help. Of course, he's better in Potions and Defence, but I best him in Transfigurations. They say that if you like a subject more, you're going to do better in it."

Still reddened, Dan nodded. "That makes sense." He formed the words awkwardly, embarrassedly.

Al decided it was time to intervene. "I'll help you if you tell me what in Merlin's name Binns was talking about today. They really should get a teacher who was alive in the last century, in my opinion. My father says he doesn't even know when Binns died." He forced a laugh, hoping to resolve the tension.

Scorpius nodded and opened his mouth to respond to Al's comment, but Dan was already speaking. Scorpius huffed and sat back, cursing every word that came out of the Gryffindor's mouth. "See, that's what's so amazing about Professor Binns. Perhaps he wasn't alive recently, but he really _lived_ what he's talking about, you know? He has all of these little anecdotes and interesting tidbits that you can barely find in any textbooks. He's written several, you know. None of the ones we use at school, unfortunately, but more for historians who want to understand history in greater depth. I've read a few of them, of course, but they're so complex and detailed I can barely understand it. He's really a fascinating person," he finished, slightly out of breath.

Al and Scorpius sat in mildly shocked states. Neither of them had ever heard anybody speak so passionately about History of Magic, widely regarded as the most boring class in school. Or about Professor Binns, decidedly the most boring teacher in school. Al felt accomplished on days he didn't actually fall asleep in class. He usually borrowed Rosie's notes to study for the tiresome tests.

"You sound like Rosie Weasley," Scorpius remarked slowly after a pause.

Dan stammered, "Al's cousin? _That_ Rose Weasley? She's so smart, I couldn't possibly sound like her. She passes Charms without breaking a sweat."

Al had to agree with Scorpius, though. Even Rosie, though, hadn't ever praised Professor Binns the way Dan just had. "Not History of Magic, though. She gets an O, of course, but then so does Lena. And both of them struggle even staying awake in that class." He nudged Dan casually in the side. "See? You could teach even her something."

Dan smiled happily, slinging an arm around Al, who didn't even want to shake it off. It was nice to finally hear how Dan was excelling in something academic, even if it was a class that everybody hated. So what, his boyfriend was a little bit different? He didn't care.

Scorpius did care, though, watching Dan's arm around Al through narrowed eyes. He saw how Al didn't look even remotely uncomfortable with Dan's possessive embrace. He cared more, perhaps, than Al's supposedly platonic friend should. But then, he had no intentions of keeping their relationship platonic.

-o-

Trudging through his classes that day, Al thought carefully about what he needed to say to Scorpius. He had to end whatever borderline interactions they had. It wasn't fair to Dan or to Lena, and Al felt terribly guilty about it. He planned to use their "study" time in the dorm room to talk to him directly. It would be a hard conversation, but it had to be done. He didn't have a choice.

-o-

Scorpius eagerly anticipated that night. Al would put his arm around him, and they would be together on his bed. He would cuddle into Al's side and make him forget all about Dan Gaither. He would give a passing hello to Lena on the way up the dorm, and possibly even chat with the others while he waited for Al. He wasn't entirely certain, though, that Michael would be even somewhat polite to him around Lena. He hated what his hidden sexuality had done to their friendship and to Lena and to Al, but it had to be hidden. He didn't have a choice.

He thought back to what Rose Weasley had told him. "You always have a choice… Always," she had said. He supposed she was right. Technically, he did have a choice: remain closeted and hurt his friends and Al, or come out and risk his father's homophobia. It was obvious which was the only viable option. Being straight was the only way he would make it through Hogwarts. He really didn't have a choice.

Michael looked particularly upset with him when Scorpius walked into the Common Room that night. Lena lit up, though, and ran to hug him. He supposed he should feel a bit guilty that he hadn't kissed her yet, but he didn't. He hadn't been able to bring himself to that day he had decided he would. He wrapped his arms around her, pretending it was just the hug of two good friends. It wasn't, though, and he knew it.

Which made it really, really hard to pretend.

"Scorp? You okay?" Lena asked, running her hand softly though his hair.

He nodded. "Yeah, just not feeling well. I think I'll go lie down," he said, extracting himself from her arms.

She looked worried. "Do you want me to walk you upstairs?"

Scorpius shook her off. "No, I'm fine. I'll just be upstairs, if you need me for anything." He hurried off without looking back.

Surprisingly, Al was already in their room when Scorpius entered. The blond boy felt a wide smile cross his face, undeterred by the fact that Al wasn't on Scorpius's bed but on his own. Scorpius sat down, making room for Al on his bed. "Come sit," he said, patting the bed beside him. "Do you—"

"Scorpius, we have to talk," Al said, not looking at him. Scorpius was surprised. Al sounded rather serious and rather… disappointed, almost. No, that wasn't quite right. Somewhere between sad and resigned, he supposed. Clearly, Al didn't want to have this talk. There was no way this conversation could possibly go well. Nevertheless, if Al wanted to talk, they would talk. Scorpius turned his attention to the boy and waited for him to speak.

Al seemed to be contemplating his words carefully. "Scorpius… whatever we're doing, it needs to stop. It's not fair to Dan, or to your girlfriend."

References to significant others was never something anybody wanted to hear in a conversation with their romantic interest. Scorpius said, "What _are_ we doing, Al?"

The boy spoke slowly. "This… you know what I mean, Scorpius. Don't play dumb. The cuddling, the studying together in a room alone, the sleeping in the same bed at night. We can't do it anymore. I feel badly about it. I can't do it to Dan, and you shouldn't do it to Lena."

Scorpius frowned. "We're close friends, Al. It's platonic."

"Is it?" Al smiled sadly. "I know Dan wouldn't see it that way."

"Why," Scorpius bit out, "is it always about Dan, Al?"

"He's my boyfriend, Scorpius."

"He doesn't even know anything about you!" Scorpius exclaimed. "I know everything about you. I know everything from your favourite colour to where you hide your candy at home. I know you, Al. I… Dan shouldn't be your boyfriend, Al."

Al narrowed his eyes. "At least he's trying," he said coldly.

Scorpius laughed bitterly. "_I'm_ trying, Al! I'm trying to get you back. I know you think our relationship is platonic, but what two boys sleep in the same bed together, wrapped up around one another just because they're close friends? You know that's a lie, Al, why can't you just admit it?"

"Because I _like_ Dan!"

"He's an idiot."

"He's nice!"

"I'm nice."

"You broke my heart, Scorpius. Over and over and over again. And I've given you a hundred second chances, and to see you begging for another one just so I can give you my heart again, all bandaged up, with the hope that you won't just casually toss it out a side window—to see that makes me just—"

"Al, I want to be with you."

"Well, I don't want to be with you, Scorpius. If you can't take friendship, don't. But I will not be with you until you can learn to prove that you will be good to me. I can't have you break my heart again, Scorpius. I think it might actually kill me." His deadly serious expression was broken only by the tear tracks running fiercely down his cheeks.

"I'll prove it to you," Scorpius promised. "That I'll be good to you."

"Don't lie to me," Al spat bitterly, tiredly.

"I'll do it."

"Don't," Al said again, standing up and moving to walk downstairs. "Don't pretend that you've learned, Scorpius. I'm not going to put anything into a relationship with you or anyone else I can't trust to be a good boyfriend. And I don't trust you," he said, opening the door. "I'm sorry, Scorpius," he said sincerely, and then he shut the door solidly.

Scorpius sat on his bed, overcome with anger and some other emotion he was too frightened to name. Even as he was telling himself, "I'll prove it to him," he was skipping steps as he darted down the stairs. Even as he was telling himself, "I'm going to be good to him," his eyes were seeking out Lena as he nearly ran into the Common Room. Even as he was telling himself, "I'll show him how much I love him," he was fiercely grabbing Lena and kissing her, for the first time, on the mouth.

And all he could smell, taste, and feel was Lena. All he could see was the glimpse of Al's face that he caught just before closing his eyes. All he could hear was Michael's derisive, pained laughter that echoed in his head and slammed into his heart.


	10. Update - NOT ABANDONED!

Hi loves,

First, this fic is NOT ABANDONED! I'm sure some of you are worried and I want to promise you that although I will not be updating weekly for a while, it will be finished, and I will update as often as I possibly can.

So here's my excuse: I'm a senior in high school, and I'm applying to colleges. Regretfully, most colleges don't seem to take the "I write fanfiction" as a worthwhile time occupation (beats me as to why; you need creativity, dedication, passion, writing skills, etc. to write a decent fanfic. but nope, that's lame and weird to colleges and so I can't put it on my apps and thus I need to dedicate a bit of time to field hockey, which is a lot less fun, let me tell you). And as I am currently writing a lot of supplements for colleges, deciding which college I should apply to early (at the moment, it's Dartmouth or Brown, in case anybody was wondering. And if you have any suggestions, please let me know. I could use as many opinions as possible), studying for tests, playing sports, and leading clubs (otherwise known as college-supported occupations that are not as wonderful as fandom). TL; DR: I have other obligations that unfortunately take precedent over this lovely fic.

Fear not, however: this fic will be finished. I promise. I am still writing it, and while updates will not be regular for a while, they will resume regularity once I actually get into college for sure, and hopefully before then (AKA either early decision or if I don't get in, regular decision).

Thanks for your understanding, and I'm sorry you had to read so much about my personal life when I'm sure you would have preferred an update on Al, Scorpius, Dan Gaither (did anybody notice his name is pronounced Gay-ther...? I think...), Rose, James & Elizabeth (can't separate them, sorry loves), and our other lovely characters.

Interweb cookies and kitties and puppies and love to all of you! Thank you for sticking with me!

xoxo Storm Rose

AKA stressed out student


	11. Chapter 10

**AN: Hello, lovely people. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me through stress and super late updates. Because it's Rosh Hashanah today, I took a two-hour car trip with my mother and ended up getting a ton of writing done… yay! So you lovely people get a little bit of Al/Scorpius action… or really, should I say, Al/Scorpius angst. My poor babies. I love them, I promise, even if I sometimes do somewhat evil things to them.**

**Also, guess who gets an appearance in this chapter? Well, I suppose I can't technically tell you until you read it, but you should know that I absolutely love her. She's got her morals in the right place. Probably my favourite character. She's got her stuff together, which I really wish would just ****_happen_**** to me. That would be really quite nice.**

**Anyway, please read and review! Feel free to say whatever you want, but remember: constructive criticism actually changes things! Incentive: you get Dan Gaither as a boyfriend. He's cute, has gorgeous (think Castiel blue) eyes, and is basically the sweetest and most understanding boyfriend ever. Al, you're missing out and you don't even know it because you're too in love with pretty Scorpius Malfoy.**

**Thank you in particular to my lovely amazing reviewers, myprofoundfantasy and simplysimpre. You guys are absolutely amazing. Thank you for your lovely notes and many reviews.**

Chapter 10

The room sat in shocked silence. Al forgot how to breathe, and Meagan stopped short in the middle of her sentence. Even though it was a well-known fact that Lena and Scorpius were together, it was almost as if the Ravenclaws had not really understood what that meant. They hadn't expected Scorpius, of all people, to initiate such a public kiss—especially for his first kiss. He had never been with anybody before, as far as most of them knew.

Michael's laugh was the only thing that broke the silence. It wasn't a happy laugh though, the one of someone finally seeing his friend kiss the boy she'd been pining after for years. It was the laugh of someone seeing something that physically hurt him, the laugh of someone with a painful secret and nothing he can do about it. He laughed because Scorpius hurt him, because Scorpius lied to him and to Lena. He laughed because he had lost his oldest, closest friend. He laughed because he knew this wasn't forgivable.

His laugh echoed around the room. Scorpius and Lena broke apart, Lena with a blissful smile and Scorpius with a barely concealed look of horror. He knew what he had done, and he knew the consequences. Lena gazed at him, but Scorpius glanced up, finding Michael's eyes. "I'm sorry," his expression seemed to say. Michael turned around. "Let's go," he said to Meagan.

"I have to go," Al mumbled abruptly. Scorpius couldn't meet his eyes but watched as the black-haired boy pushed open the door and stumbled outside. The door swung shut solidly behind him, a barrier between the two boys.

Scorpius suddenly found his eyes wet. This wasn't what he had intended, not at all. Lena giggled shyly, and he broke away brashly. "Scorpius," she said. He could hear the smile in her voice, but he ignored her. He looked around the room, seeing the other students studying carefully with their ears trained on him and Lena. "Scorp," Lena tried again, catching his hand in hers. Her touch repulsed him, but he couldn't show it. Michael and Meagan had left, Meagan furiously questioning Michael as to why she had to leave her best friend behind. He had no support, except for Lena.

He was using her, and she was all he had left.

He hated himself.

-o-

Al nearly ran to the Gryffindor Common Room, blinking rapidly to hold the tears at bay. He speed-walked around the corner and hit a solid body, accidentally pushing her to the ground.

"I'm so sor—Elizabeth!" he said, recognizing her.

She put out her hand, wordlessly asking him to pull her up. "Don't worry about it, Al," she laughed briefly, rubbing her backside. "I'm all good."

Al wished he hadn't run into her. She always picked up on his moods. She would ask him what was wrong in 3… 2… 1…

"Al, what's wrong?" she asked. _Right on schedule_, he thought drily.

He opened his mouth to speak, to deny everything, and his voice caught on a sob.

Her face dropped into motherly concern. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Scorpius kissed Lena," he blurted. _Shite_. He hadn't meant to give that away. He looked at her, expecting to see a comforting smile or at the very least, surprise.

Instead, she was pissed. "Al," she said dangerously. It was a tone he had never heard from her before, and he snapped his mouth shut. "What the _hell_ are you thinking?" He didn't know how to respond. "I cannot believe you, of all people, would do such a thing. To Dan Gaither. He's nice. He likes you. He's interesting and smart and brave. And you are using him selfishly." She searched his face. "Al, you can't use people, least of all Dan. He's not a tool. He's a boy, who likes you a lot. Shape up, or I'm going to tell him."

"He already knows," Al mumbled, biting his tongue after the words slipped out.

"What?" Elizabeth said, her eyes narrowing. "You told your _boyfriend_ you were in love with somebody else?"

"No!" Al exclaimed defensively. "I'm _not_ in love with him. I promise, Elizabeth. I wouldn't do that, you know me. I told Dan that we were together and that he likes me."

"But not that you like him." Elizabeth's voice was doubtful and her arms were crossed.

"We're friends," Al said forcefully. "That's it."

"You're sure that's all he thinks it is?"

"Yeah," Al reaffirmed. "He knows I'm with Dan, and that nothing's going to happen between us."

Elizabeth sighed. "Do you know that?" Al nodded and opened his mouth, but Elizabeth broke in again. "Then why were you so upset that he kissed Lena."

Al searched his brain, trying to come up with an answer.

"He's gay, obviously. He shouldn't be using Lena to cover it up." James rescued Al as he walked up, oblivious to Al's struggles. Elizabeth hadn't missed it but didn't comment.

Al seized his brother's reasoning. "Lena's a good person, and she's fancied him for years. He's the one toying with somebody, not me."

"You're toying with Dan Gaither?" James frowned.

"No! For the hundredth time, no." Al realized he had been too harsh. "Sorry. It's just, because of Scorpius, Elizabeth thinks I'm toying with Dan."

"But you're not."

"But I'm not," Al confirmed.

James slung his arm around Elizabeth and kissed her cheek. "See, babe? They're fine."

Elizabeth's eyes told Al that they would talk later, without James there.. He could never get anything past her. She read people far too well.

"I didn't know that Scorpius and Lena were together. Your friend, Lena Something, what is her last name?"

"Farley," Al replied. "They've been sort of going out for a bit."

"Sort of?" James questioned.

Al nodded. "He hasn't kissed her this whole time, and it's obvious to anybody looking as to why, since she's been all over him and he's been flinching and looking freaked out and Scorpius shite like that. But he just kissed her, in front of everybody, and as far as anybody knows, it's his first kiss."

"Why?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Why'd he kiss her? I dunno, probably because he—"

"No, why _publicly?_" James asked, apparently on her wavelength because Elizabeth nodded in agreement.

Al sank back on his heels. His forehead creased, and then he realized why. It was the conversation he and Scorpius had had beforehand. He hadn't made the connection before because he was so shocked and hurt by Scorpius's kiss with Lena… but now he realized. He felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips but he pulled it back. Scorpius loved him, he still loved him, maybe he loved him now like he had never loved him before. He had kissed Lena because he couldn't be with Al. It made sense now.

"What?" Elizabeth's voice interrupted his racing thoughts. "You know why." It wasn't a question.

Al shook his head rapidly, too rapidly to be true. "I have to go find someone." And though his mind was on Scorpius, his feet took him to the Gryffindor Common Room. Where his boyfriend was.

-o-

Lena pulled at his hand. "Let's go outside to the courtyard," she said to Scorpius, blushing. He knew it was her first kiss—even though it wasn't his—and he hoped she hadn't minded that he had done it so publicly. His lips felt dirty, somehow. He tried to figure out a way to scrub them discretely. Maybe with a wire brush.

"It's night time, Lena."

"I know. We should talk, Scorp. There won't be anybody outside now."

He was glad she hadn't tried to use tongue. Though he supposed she hadn't known how and likely didn't want to learn in front of a staring crowd and Al. She might when they were outside, although she had never come off as someone like that. Neither had Al.

Al hadn't reacted well at all to the kiss. Scorpius took it as a sign of hope that Al had been so upset. He wondered where Al had gone—hopefully, just to be alone. Seeking out Dan Gaither after seeing Scorpius kissing Lena would definitely have been a bad sign.

He followed Lena almost suddenly, still wishing for a wire brush and maybe some eye bleach. Every time he blinked, Al's pained and shocked face flashed behind his lids.

"Scorpius," Lena said. "You there?" She looked prettily up at him, and as he stared down at her, he wished he didn't fear her so much.

He nodded quietly. He faked a closed-mouth smile, and her eyes narrowed.

"You sure?" her hand reached up to brush his smooth, narrow chin. She pulled him down to sit beside her on a bench in the courtyard. Concern warred with happiness in her face. "Did you… was it bad?" she demanded softly. "Am I bad at… at kissing? At kissing you?"

He shook his head mutely, looking away from her. She clutched at his hand, and he couldn't wrap his hand around hers. He felt destroyed on the inside. Lena trusted him, believed him. He knew she had fancied him, and he had used it against her. He knew everybody else knew he was a fraud. Everybody else knew except for Lena.

He blinked sadly at her, cursing the wetness that suddenly came to his eyes.

Concern won. "What's wrong with you, Scorpius?" she asked fiercely. "Tell me, or I'm going to leave."

Her voice was threatening enough that he believed her, but he still wanted her to leave over telling her what was so wrong with him.

Lena's hand clutched his tighter, and he forced himself to pull it away.

"What is it, Scorp?" He heard the gentleness, the emotion in her voice, and cursed the words that escaped his lips.

"I can't do this, Lena." She didn't answer, but when she looked at him, her eyes were wide and bright with tears. He tore his eyes away and studied the ground. "I can't do this to you anymore, Lena. I've lost… I've lost everything." His voice broke, and he felt like something was choking him. He forced himself to meet her eyes, and regretted the decision instantly. The grass steadied him, and her face broke him. "Lena, I'm so sorry."

"What are you saying?" she asked softly, her hand clutching softly, fragilely at his shirt.

"You know," he said. He couldn't bring himself to say it out loud, but her face said that she needed to hear it. "I think we should break up."

"Why, Scorpius?" she said, her hand shaking. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"It's not you," he murmured, finally meeting her eyes steadily. "Lena, I… I don't like you that way. I can't."

"You can't?"

"Look at me," he said, motioning to his outfit. His hair. His bone structure, his way of speaking, the lack of typical straight-boyness that seeped out of him like a wave of water through a broken-down dam. "Look at me." His eyes begged her not to make him say it.

"I am looking at you, Scorp," she said, a tear rolling down her cheek slowly. She didn't understand. "Why can't you?"

"You're…" He couldn't say it.

"I'm what?" She was getting frustrated and upset; he could see it. Her lips caved into a pout and her forehead creased. "What is wrong with me, Scorpius? What have I done wrong?"

"You're a girl, okay?!" he spat it out and felt like swallowing his tongue. He looked away from her and pulled his knees to his chest, taking as little space as he could because he didn't want to exist right then.

Silence.

Silence reigned for a few minutes. Her hand dropped away from his arm and untangled from his shirt. He studied the ground carefully, and she did the same beside him. They sat there, and she started when he spoke.

"Say something," he whispered.

"I don't know what," she replied, equally softly.

"I'm sorry. Really, Lena, I am. I promise. I never meant to hurt you. I swear. You're my best friend."

"I think… I think that I guessed, Scorpius. I think I knew." He looked at her, needing her to continue, begging her to explain. "I think I knew, inside, but I was denying it, Scorp. I didn't want to believe it."

"How did you know?" He knew. He wished he looked like Al, all masculine and athletic and fit.

"I dunno." Her voice trailed off as she thought. "I think… I think I should have known when you asked me out. Al had just come out, so everybody thought you were… like that, too. But then you and he had just gotten in a fight, which you _never_ do, and then suddenly you asked me out. I didn't want to think about it, Scorp. So I just didn't."

"But you knew."

"I didn't. But I should have, Scorp."

"I'm sorry."

She swallowed. "You should be. Why did you do this to me?"

"It's not a choice, Lena. I swear, I've been fighting it—"

"Not about _that_, calm down. Why did you tell me you fancied me when you knew, you _knew_ I fancied you for years. How could you do that to me, Scorp?"

"Lena…" his voice held an apology. "I needed to."

"Why?"

"My father… he hates… people like Al. People like me, Lena. He doesn't want me to associate with Al, and if he ever found out, he would never forgive the Potters, or Al, or me. It would destroy him. And me. It would destroy me."

Her hand caught his, and he found that suddenly… it wasn't as bad as it had been. The feel of her hand was natural in his, but in a different way than Al's. It was the hand of a friend, a friend who was there for him when she shouldn't be, when she certainly didn't have to be. A friend who was there just because she wanted to be.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't, Lena. I needed you."

"You should have known that I would do whatever you asked, Scorp."

"What?"

"I'm serious. I would have pretended to go out with you if you had just told me. If I can protect you… I would do that. For you." Her voice was tender and soft, the voice of a girl who had just had her heart broken and forced it back together so that she could be there for the bloke she liked.

He swallowed. "Lena…" His eyes lifted slowly and met hers, which were shaky and steady and strong at the same time. "You would do that for me?"

"Anything, Scorp." She smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I just want you to be happy, you know?"

He said, "Lena, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ever done anything like this to you."

"You shouldn't have," she agreed. "But I forgive you, Scorp. You should know that I'd always forgive you."

"I can't help it, you know. You're the only reason I wish I wasn't. I've always wanted to be there for you. But I can't. I'm sorry."

"Do you love him?"

"Lena…" his voice trailed off.

"Do you, Scorp?"

"He calls me Scorpius." The words crept unbidden out of his mouth. It wasn't the right thing to say… it was just… not what she had expected. It didn't answer her question at all. And yet, somehow it did.

"I've noticed," Lena sighed. "He's the only one."

"I don't like Scorp, Lena. It's… it doesn't fit me, you know. I'm Scorpius, not Scorp. I'm preppy and pretty and not masculine and athletic and strong. Scorp doesn't fit me. It's not elegant or classic, which is, you know, it's kind of what I would like to be, Lena."

"Don't say that." She squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"What? The truth?"

"You're masculine and athletic and strong and attractive and a bloke like Al would be lucky to have you, Scorpius. Anybody would be lucky to have you." She smiled sweetly up at him. "I was lucky to have you, even if it was false."

"Lena."

"I know, you aren't capable of it or something. Couldn't you try, though? Just a little?"

"I have, Lena. You have no idea how much… because of my father."

"And because of you." She spoke honestly, bluntly. The words tore into Scorpius's heart and confused him.

"Because of me?"

"You keep blaming everything on your father, Scorp—Scorpius. When are you going to admit that, just maybe, it's you? How would your father ever find out? And so he reacted one way with Al, but Al's not his son. You are. Anyway…" she smirked at him. "He's going to find out eventually, anyway."

Scorpius frowned. "No, he's not."

"Of course he is. Are you going to stay closeted forever? Never going to have a boyfriend or get married or—"

"I dunno."

She frowned at him. "Scorpius, of course he's going to find out. And you can't let someone like him control someone like you. You deserve more than he wants to give you, and if that means that sometimes, you have to fight for it… something like this is worth it, Scorp. No matter what you think the consequences may be."

They sat in silence for a moment, holding hands and staring off into space. Scorpius finally broke it. "I'm glad we're still friends, Lena."

Her voice barely shook when she said, "Me, too." A pause, and then, "Should we go back inside? It's cold out here."

He nodded and stood up, offering her a hand. She took it, her hand comfortable and familiar in his. He enjoyed the feeling of security she offered him, so he kept a tight hold on it. She didn't move to pull away.

-o-

"Where's Dan?" Al said immediately after climbing awkwardly into the Gryffindor Portrait Hole. The best part about having a boyfriend in another House: he got the password. The problem: the Fat Lady wouldn't stop talking about those prudish cowardly Ravenclaws in her House.

"In his room," Dan's best friend, Serena or Selena or Susana or Something mumbled, glancing up at him briefly before returning to squinting at a scroll filled partway with very large handwriting.

"Where?"

Nobody helped him, so he guessed at a staircase and quickly and painfully discovered it was the girls'. Oops. He took the other one and scampered upstairs, his heart thudding ominously with every step. Two of the doors were closed, and he ignored them in favour of the open ones. Fortunately, Dan was sitting in plain sight of the doorway. "Dan," he said.

Dan Gaither glanced up suddenly, surprise relaxing to a blue-eyed smile. "Al," he grinned. "Hey, babe."

Al fought the urge to roll his eyes. He wasn't "babe," Scorpius was… anybody should know that. Except for Dan, obviously. And everybody else. Well, except Scorpius. Scorpius knew. Scorpius always knew. He had always known. "Hey, Dan." It sounded like a sigh.

"What's going on?" Dan was sitting on his bed and moved over so that Al could sit down, too.

Al perched on the edge, then remembered what Scorpius had done. He remembered that Scorpius had locked eyes with him and planted his lips onto Lena, Lena, Lena, and not onto him. He felt betrayed and broken. "Dan…" his voice caught horribly. Embarrassingly horribly, but he didn't care, and he fell down next to Dan, tucking his head into Dan's chest, and felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. "Dan, I'm so sorry."

"Al? Al? What's wrong?" Dan sounded alarmed, somewhat terrified.

"Dan, I'm sorry. I was wrong. I'm so sorry." Al didn't really know what he was saying, just that it sounded good. It sounded right, and he definitely needed to apologize to Dan for… well, for everything. Dan certainly deserved an apology. A better one than he was getting, but Al didn't have anything else to give him.

"Al—"

"Dan… can you just… hold me, for a minute?" He knew it was unfair to ask his boyfriend to comfort him, but it felt like his heart was collapsing.

"'Course, Al. Anything." Dan's arm wrapped tightly around Al, the warmth and comfort seeping through his bones. And Al felt the tears start to fall. They wet Dan's shirt, making the grey shirt dark. He watched the wet circle get slowly bigger while Dan held him close. His head rested comfortably on Dan's chest, and his legs were curled up. He felt very small, like a child, and he just wanted to cry for a little bit. His mind blanked out, and he fell asleep.

"Al?" Dan whispered a bit later, feeling the tears stop and Al's breathing slow and deepen. His Muggle Physics textbook lay forgotten on the side of the bed. He sort of wanted to cover it up to prevent any laughter, but Al was more important. So he held Al close, and wondered what in hell had happened to his boyfriend.


	12. Chapter 11

**AN: Oh my god! An update! Thank you all for sticking with me through my slow, slow, slow updates. Hopefully my current stress level (I hate you, AP Physics) doesn't affect the quality of my writing! Please read and review, whether it's lovely compliments and happiness from lovely reviewers such as myprofoundfantasy and simplysimpre or flames from disgruntled readers who think it's really Al and Lena who should be making out in a secluded hallway (I'm sorry to break it to you, but that will not happen in this story. This is not ****_Faking It_**** *cough cough* worst season finale ever *cough cough*). Reviews are happy rainbows and Jake Gyllenhaal wearing a "I was a gay cowboy before it was cool" T-shirt **(side note: I was watching _Nashville_ with my family and somebody on the show said "Gay cowboys don't sell" and I just went "Brokeback…" *cries* *I wish I could quit you*).

**ANYWAY… Let's get back to fanfiction homosexuality instead of canon sexuality (although hello it would be canon if the great J.K. Rowling would just ****_admit_**** the feels between our boys).**

**Big, happy things happen (THANK MERLIN FINALLY) in this VERY LONG chapter. Yay! **

Chapter 11

….Three Months Later…

Al stared at his boyfriend, and then at his breakfast plate. It was a weird contortion of eggs on a plate with toast. They seemed to be cut into some sort of shape, but he had no idea what it was supposed to be.

"Do you like it?"

Al didn't know what to say. "Uh, sure, but I dunno what it is."

The dark-haired boy looked somewhat hurt. "Babe, it's supposed to be a Snitch!"

"Ah," Al said. "Thanks, Dan. I like it."

Dan pecked him quickly on the cheek. "It's for your game today, your first game. It's supposed to be good luck. I heard your dad's friends did it for him, too."

"We're playing your House. Why are you wishing me good luck?"

Dan sank into the bench beside Al dramatically in a shockingly good imitation of Scorpius. "Because, Al Potter, you're my boyfriend. See?" He gestured down at himself. Al realized he was wearing a Ravenclaw tie, instead of his normal red and gold Gryffindor one.

"Oh," said Al. Even after three months, he sometimes had no idea how to act around a public boyfriend. "Thanks." He smiled at Dan and shoved a spoonful of eggs into his mouth.

And then Scorpius showed up, holding his girlfriend Lena's hand. They had a relationship that was pretty much universally considered weird. In public, they were awkwardly affectionate. Well, Lena was, but Scorpius wasn't, at least since the day of the kiss three months ago. "Hey," he said to Al. "Dan," he nodded as an afterthought.

"Excited for the game?" Al smiled, snatching his gaze back from Scorpius's uniform. Scorpius nodded, stealing a bite of Al's toast before putting it back at Al's screeching glare. "Mine," Al said, narrowing his eyes before letting a laugh escape.

Lena shifted her weight to her other foot. "Scorpius," she said, "you should be eating something if you're planning on saving any goals."

"Yes, mum," Scorpius laughed. Lena's smile didn't reach her eyes. It never did these days. "Al, promise me you'll catch the Snitch."

"That's the goal, Scorpius," Al said tiredly. They had had this conversation many times… and yet somehow neither he nor Scorpius had gotten tired of it. He smiled briefly at Scorpius. "Now do what Lena says. Eggs or something, not that fruity shite you've been eating every day."

Scorpius froze. "Excuse—oh. You meant… never mind."

"What?" Al stared at the blond boy who was suddenly angry and red-faced.

"Never mind, Al." Scorpius's voice was hard. "Leave it alone," he said when Al opened his mouth.

Dan's and Lena's eyes flashed back between the two of them.

Scorpius ate his eggs.

-o-

"He passes it to Thomas… and Thomas scores! In Quidditch that is, can't say for otherwise—"

"Ryan Rosenthall!"

"Sorry, Professor, won't happen again. 10 points to Gryffindor, now Ravenclaw's got the Quaffle. I must say, that should have been an easy save, seems like Malfoy's mind's elsewhere, possibly up in the clouds. Whether that's purely figurative or actually with Al Potter, I won't say, but rumour has it the two did get into a fight this morning, yelling and—"

"Rosenthall! Please focus on the game."

"Sorry, Professor, but you do have to admit that neither is having his best game… Oh, and Ravenclaw scores! Brilliant move by Marie Ellis and Kate Stevenson, I heard it's called the Mercury-Taryen Flip, very impressive. They're apparently being recruited… sorry Professor… oh and Josh stole the Quaffle back, good thing too because Malfoy can't save anything today—" Rosenthall was dancing away from the Quidditch professor "Sorry, it's what the people want to hear—ooh, I think Potter's seen the Snitch, like his father and uncle Charlie Weasley he is I've heard, boy flies through the air, but he's not on his game tonight… and he's lost it… Gryffindor scores, it's now 120-20 Ravenclaw, no thanks to Malfoy, he might as well not even be in front of the posts, he hasn't saved either of the two shots. Potter better catch the Snitch soon or this game is going to go on forever, I don't think that the other Seeker, what's his name? Tavers? Oh, sorry, Travors, he hasn't even seen it yet… yes! Ravenclaw's got the Quaffle! Brilliant flyer, Marie Ellis is. She really should go professional, professor—"

"Ryan Rosenthall!"

"Even you have to admit she's incredible, professor, and she scores! 130 points for Ravenclaw, Gryffindor is being roasted alive, brilliant playing! Down with the lions, sorry professor, can't ignore my House loyalties—Slytherin's far superior to the others, by the way, no relation to this but—sorry professor, won't happen again!"

He dodged the professor's furious glare. "Rosenthall, hand it over, now!"

"Can't really imagine why they keep letting me do this. I suppose I'm the closest they've got to the legendary Lee Jordan, that boy was brilliant, my aspiration even though he was in Gryffindor, Slytherin at heart I've always said! Ravenclaw scores! Soon it won't matter who catches the Snitch, might be like Krum's World Cup game… ooh, and Gryffindor scores! 140-30 now. Beautiful shot by them, for once, don't actually know who shot it, some boy with dark hair, James Potter maybe—"

"Kathy Smith is female!"

"Sorry, girl with dark hair. Can't really expect me to see that, she's got short hair! Looks like James Potter actually. Odd." A second of silence from the microphone, broken by the continuous excited murmur in the crowd. Suddenly, it roars again. "Ravenclaw scores again! Ooh, nice steal from Gryffindor by Ellis again, and she passes to Stevenson, and it's a goal! James really should go professional, she's reminiscent of Krum, I swear, professor I used a big word, it's academic so it's okay, and oh, _finally_, Malfoy makes a save, although it was headed to the outside of the hoops… I dunno if it counts as a save then, but Amberson has the Quaffle and does Potter see the Snitch? Doesn't seem like it, he's circling again and Ravenclaw scores! Beautiful goal by Josh Amberson, 160-30, people! Ravenclaw really is crushing these dirty cheating lions, I think the Gryffindor Chasers have barely touched the Quaffle and their Keeper certainly hasn't, although Ravenclaw's hasn't either… Stevenson intercepts the Quaffle! Gorgeous pass back to James, and _oh!_ Varr's hit that Beater! The bloke _missed!_ Terribly embarrassing for him, now Gryffindor's out of a player, I think the medical teams are going out there now people, don't worry, he'll be fine… and Ravenclaw scored twice in that confusion! What's the score now? 170-30?"

"Pay attention, Rosenthall, it's 180-30!"

"180-30! Travors better catch the Snitch quick, he can only tie now and oh, he's seen the Snitch! Potter sees it too but he's too far away, he's too late, he'll never make it in time, he's stretching out and Stevenson scores again and Travors catches the Snitch! RAVENCLAW WINS! TAKE THAT, GRYFFINDOR! YOU FILTHY LIONS!" The professor snatched the microphone away but his voice was still audible "We've won! Ravenclaws won! Take down the lions, the righteous prissy lions, Slytherin will beat you next, we'll take you down..."

On the field, the Ravenclaw team landed and walked to their changing room, anger coming off of Charlie Danzer like steam off his back. "Meeting," he growled, pointing two fingers at Al and Scorpius. "Now."

The team changed quietly, the three Chasers uncertain whether or not to grin widely at their playing or shrink in fear of being yelled at.

Al and Scorpius sat down on the benches with Charlie towering over them. "I don't know what to say. You both need to thank your Chasers for playing the game they did. Albus," he said, turning to the green-eyed boy, "_I_ saw the Snitch about three times, and I'm a Beater. I don't know what your problem was, but you need to shape up, and quick. We can't have a Seeker who can't focus enough to at least look for the Snitch. And as for you, Scorpius: you didn't make a single save. Not one. You touched the ball once, _ONCE_, in the entire game, and that was when the ball was going to the outside of the hoops. You shouldn't have even touched it then, that's the Chasers' job. Not yours, Scorpius. So I'm going to ask once: what the hell happened to you?"

Neither knew what to say, except, "I'm sorry." Al's voice was quiet and timid, so different from normal.

"Is what he said out there true?"

"What?" Scorpius said.

"Ryan Rosenthall. About the two of you getting into a fight this morning. I know you're friends but there's a lot of tension of _some_ sort between the two of you. I couldn't care less except for when it impacts my team. Either there needs to be a change, or you're both off the team. I'll take Ovian back, but I cannot deal with this kind of stress put on the team."

"Well—" Scorpius said.

"Not exactly—"Al spoke at the same time. Al forged forward. "Not exactly. I said something, I don't know what, but it wasn't that big of a deal—"

"It wasn't," agreed Scorpius. "Misunderstanding."

"So I'll ask again, then. What the hell happened out there? And I want a frank answer."

"I dunno," Al said. "I'm sorry."

"There's something going on between you two. Like I said, I don't care except for when it affects my team. We've got the best Chasers we're ever going to get in Kate and Marie, and I'm not going to throw that away so you two can have a lovers' spat."

"It's not—" Scorpius tried.

Charlie ignored him. "What I'm saying is, the two of you are not coming to the next practice. Figure out whatever the hell is going on, and come back the next week ready to play. If you can't set aside whatever it is and play like you mean it, you're off the team."

"Charlie," Scorpius protested.

"I mean it. I'll take Ovian back. I don't care. But I am not going to tolerate this. Got it?" The tone of his voice was harsh and steady. He was serious.

"Yeah, I understand." Al bit his tongue to hold back the "sir."

Scorpius nodded.

"See you in two weeks, then. And I want to see some real changes," Charlie insisted.

"You'll see them," Scorpius promised.

Charlie turned away to change then, and Al and Scorpius walked to their lockers silently. Al's shirt was halfway over his head when Scorpius spoke. "Al…"

"Don't, Scorpius."

"Okay," Scorpius said. "But please, can we talk at some point?"

Al's voice was muffled as he worked his way out of his shirt. "Yes, Scorpius. We can talk."

"Thanks," Scorpius said. "I don't want to get booted off the team."

Al didn't respond.

-o-

Al exited the locker room and was greeted with a kiss from Dan, who had an odd expression on his face, some sort of pained smile-grimace. "You played great, babe," Dan said, holding Al close.

"I didn't, but thanks, Dan," Al said. Sometimes he wished he could talk to Dan about stuff like that, but Dan still got really uncomfortable at the discussion of Scorpius Malfoy. He couldn't tell Dan that the reason he played so poorly… was Scorpius. His best friend.

"No, babe, you played great, just because you didn't catch—"

"Charlie almost kicked me off the team, Dan." Al's voice was tired. He wished Dan could understand how he was feeling. It seemed like he and Dan were only going through the motions. Kisses here and there, comforting words, occasional hand holding. Al was tired of being around Dan.

He wished that Dan could see it.

"Hey, Scorpius," Lena said behind him. Al turned around in Dan's arms and watched as Scorpius emerged from the tent. He pecked Lena on the cheek briefly, and she smiled. "Oh, no… what's wrong? What happened? You weren't on your game today, what's wrong?"

Scorpius glanced at Al and Dan. "Not here, Lene," he said, taking her hand.

Al watched them go, still clutched tightly by Dan's arms. Lena understood Scorpius, and Al still couldn't believe that they were really together. He watched them talking quietly as they walked away, holding hands and looking, for all the world, like a better couple than he and Dan.

"Let's go grab something to eat," Dan said, smiling at Al.

"Sure," Al sighed. "Let's go."

-o-

Lena and Scorpius walked slowly over to the castle, hands comfortable and familiar together. "What is it?" Lena prompted again. "No offense, Scorpius, but you played really poorly today."

"I know," he said. "It's Al. I don't know why, but we just seem to keep getting in each other's way. And, frankly, it's exhausting."

"Because of this morning?"

"No… it's all the time. We'll be walking to class, and he'll say something, totally offhandedly, that just sets me off, or I'll bump into him by accident and he'll just freeze up, and it's such a trial to be around him and I know he feels the same way even though we're best friends again, and I can tell his relationship with Gaither isn't going well—"

"What?" Lena interrupted. "He and Dan aren't getting along? They're like the perfect couple… sorry Scorpius. I know how you feel about him still, and I just never knew the two of you together."

"It's okay, Lena," Scorpius said.

"And I thought I was your best friend," Lena said, overdramatically offended.

"You are, Lena," Scorpius laughed, nudging her with his shoulder. "Just in a different way."

"I know," she said, squeezing his hand. "I love you, you know," she grinned.

"Love you, too, Lena," he smiled back at her.

"Just not like you love Al." They laughed. It was their little joke. The first time she had told Scorpius she loved him, he had frozen, until she smiled broadly at him and said that.

"So, do you fancy anyone lately?" Scorpius asked.

Lena frowned. "Nah, no one's really caught my fancy since you," she told him "I wish there were some decent boys in our year… who aren't gay."

"Poor straight you," Scorpius teased her.

"It's tragic," she said, laughing. "I wish—wait. You're just trying to distract me from your little hypothesis about Dan and Al."

"Fuck you… See, Dan doesn't get what Al's feeling. He doesn't seem to much care, and Al hates that. That's why we broke up, actually, because I didn't get how much Al needed to be out and I was holding him back. And now Dan's holding him back."

Lena nodded slowly. "Is that good?"

"For Al? No. For me?" He grinned. "Hell yes. I might get a second chance with him if they break up."

"Publicly?" Lena asked.

Scorpius frowned. "I dunno. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, I suppose."

"Tough bridge," Lena said. "But worth it?"

"For him? Of course."

Lena bit back her smile.

-o-

Al washed his hair slowly in the shower, letting the warm water smooth out the tension in his back from the game, from having to talk to Scorpius, and his strained relationship with Dan. After several minutes, he shut the water off and dried himself off before walking slowly through the empty corridor to his dorm, a towel wrapped around his waist. He opened the door and walked immediately over to his clothes, looking to find a comfortable pair of Muggle athletic shorts and a T-shirt to sleep in.

"Just so you know, I'm here," Scorpius said from his bed, platinum blond hair tousled and looking unfairly regal covering his grey eyes.

"Fuck," Al exclaimed, dropping the clothes he had just picked out in surprise. He whirled around. "Scorpius! What are you doing here?"

"It is my room, too, you know," the blond drawled. "Why are you naked?"

"I have a towel on."

"Half naked, then."

"I just took a shower, as you can surely see from my wet hair, genius."

Scorpius laughed softly. "I'm sorry, I thought we were asking obvious questions."

"Obvious questions, maybe," Al said, looking at him through his messy black hair and sitting down on his own bed. "But not sexual ones."

Scorpius grinned and Al promptly returned it. "Sorry."

"You're not," Al said bluntly. It wasn't a question, but the laughter in his eyes betrayed his true emotions.

"I'm not," Scorpius said.

"I know," Al responded. Why couldn't his relationship with Dan be so easy? The laughter died in his eyes. "Scorpius, we really should talk… about what's been going on. With Quidditch, and everything."

"With you… half naked?" Scorpius asked in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

It worked. Al smiled briefly. "I should change, shouldn't I? But not in front of you."

"Not in front of me," Scorpius agreed. "I'll shut my eyes."

"Don't peek," Al teased.

"You know I will," Scorpius responded, shutting his eyes tightly.

Al couldn't help but wish that he would. He changed quickly, watching Scorpius not look the entire time.

"I'm done," Al said, letting his shirt drop over his well-defined torso. Scorpius opened his eyes and the two boys stared at each other awkwardly as Al sat carefully on his bed across from Scorpius. "Should we talk?" he asked.

"We should," Scorpius said, not removing his grey eyes from Al's green ones.

"Yeah," Al breathed, finally tearing his gaze away. "So… er… let's start with this morning. Why were you so mad at me? Did I do something?"

Scorpius grimaced. "No, it was stupid, really. It's not a big deal."

"You were pissed at me all day, Scorpius."

"I know." He paused. "You said that I had been eating… fruity shite. Every day."

Al looked at him for a second seriously, until his eyes started to lighten and Scorpius lips pressed together and Al cracked a grin and Scorpius bit out a giggle and suddenly, they were laughing hard together. Al rolled back on his bed, holding his stomach. "And… you thought… I meant…" he panted out, still looking up at the ceiling.

Scorpius muffled his giggles for a second. "Yes," only now realizing how completely hilarious it was. Al lifted his head, and the two boys' eyes met, and they dissolved back into laughter again.

"I meant that you had been eating apples and oranges and bananas not… blokes," Al said, propping himself up on one elbow to look at Scorpius.

"I know," Scorpius said, gasping for breath. "It just sounded really bad."

"And that's why you were mad at me all day?" Al asked, grinning.

"Yes and no," Scorpius said, sobering. "A little because of that and a little bit because we've just been so… tense around each other lately, and I don't want that, Al. I want my best friend back."

Al looked seriously at him. "Back to the way it was when we were just friends or… when we were… boyfriends?"

"Both?" Scorpius said, his voice rising like a question. His eyes darted to Al's.

"Both?" Al asked. "What does that mean?"

Scorpius frowned. "I dunno. Do you remember back, before it all got really complicated, when we were best friends, when you would put your arm around me and it would feel nice and comfortable but not awkward? And you did that later, and we could nudge each other without it getting weird even when we were boyfriends—"

"Before you started worrying everybody would find out."

"Before that, yes." Scorpius clutched his knees to his chest. "It was comfortable to be around you, Al. And I miss that. You're my best friend and…" He stopped.

"And?" Al prompted.

"I dunno," Scorpius said, looking away and blushing. "It doesn't matter."

They sat in silence, both absorbing what Scorpius had said. Scorpius studied the patters on the bedspread in front of him, and Al studied Scorpius.

"CanIsitnexttoyou?" Al asked in a rush.

"What?" Scorpius asked, looking at the dark haired boy who was already starting to stand up.

"Can I sit next to you?" he repeated, more slowly, getting to his feet. They both already knew what the answer should be, what it had to be… and what it would be.

Scorpius nodded. "Of course," he breathed, moving over to make room for Al.

Al sat tentatively next to him. They looked cautiously at each other and then quickly away, brushing shoulders. In a moment of insanity, Al put his arm around Scorpius's shoulders. "Like this?" he asked quietly, feeling the smaller boy tensed up.

Scorpius nodded, not trusting his voice enough to speak. Gradually, slowly he relaxed, and then he relaxed against Al, laying his head on the other boy's shoulder. Al tightened his arm around Scorpius, missing the way his narrow shoulders felt under his arm, and the way his warmth bled into his side. He missed the brush of hair under his chin when he rested his head against Scorpius's.

"Can I ask you something?" Scorpius said, just barely loud enough for Al to hear him. He felt Al's head nod, so he took a deep breath and asked, "What's wrong with you and Dan Gaither?"

"Why don't you ever call him Dan?" Al asked in return.

"Because… because I don't know how I'm supposed to see him. I mean, he's your… boyfriend, Al, and I…" he breathed slowly. "I was that once, too."

"Oh," Al whispered.

"So? What's wrong with you and him?" Scorpius prompted again.

"He's… I don't know, Scorpius. He doesn't really understand me. He wants to always be the one holding the door or putting his arm around me or lifting me up and he doesn't see that's not what I want. I want to be the one doing all of those things. I like doing all of those things. It makes me feel useless when I don't do that."

"It makes me feel loved," Scorpius said quietly.

"I know, Scorpius. But it's just not me." He pulled Scorpius flush against him. I miss doing stuff like this. It seems stupid, but, I don't know. I like holding my… I like holding people." He took a deep breath and continued. "And it seems like he just doesn't get me, sometimes. He didn't even notice how awful I was at Quidditch today, and it just pains me because it just never seems like he cares. He doesn't really know me. He doesn't know that I love the rain or that I hate Bertie Botts' Beans or that my favourite candy is Liquorice Snaps. It's not like you and me, Scorpius." He couldn't believe he had said that last part.

"You and me?" Scorpius asked tentatively.

"You and me," Al whispered, lifting his head to look into Scorpius's eyes.

And then suddenly Scorpius was turning his body and reaching up to Al, and Al was closing his eyes, and their lips met in a collision of noses and suddenly heavy breaths and a sense of rightness.

Al shifted his head to the right and wrapped both of his arms around the blond. Scorpius's fingers tangled in the thick locks at the base of Al's skull and his tongue teased out to taste Al's lips, and Al met with the tip of his, and then they were fighting for dominance. Al remapped Scorpius's mouth, swallowing every moan of Scorpius's as the blond straddled his best friend's hips and wrapped his arms around the familiar feel of Al's neck. Al gasped for breath before resealing their lips together, and they panted together as they kissed frantically… until Al pushed Scorpius away. "No," he breathed. "We can't, Scorpius. I… we can't."

Scorpius didn't move. "Al… I want to."

"I know," Al said, distraught. "I know. Merlin… I want… but we can't. I have a boyfriend."

Scorpius slid off of Al. "I'm sorry. I should go."

Al nodded, not looking at him as if afraid that one glance would be all he needed to grab him and remind himself of what he had missed all of these months. Scorpius moved off of the bed and walked slowly to the door. His eyes betrayed him and started tearing up before he even reached his destination. He fought the urge to wipe them away, trying to salvage the last bits of his dignity. He had just kissed Al, whom he was irrevocably in love with and whom he could never have again.

His hand was reaching out for the door handle when Al said, "wait," from right behind him. He felt Al's hand on his arm and he spun around without any more prompting from Al. He looked at the other boy pleadingly, hoping his tears weren't too obvious. He just wanted to get away. Al seized him and pulled him close, dipping down to kiss the other boy's lips firmly, fiercely, and with a desperate apology. "I'm sorry," he murmured against his lips.

"It's okay," Scorpius said, kissing him and wrapping his arms around Al's neck. "Kiss me," he begged.

Al smiled briefly before tugging the other boy even closer and resealing their lips. He ran his hands down Scorpius's slim back and around the curve of his arse, picking him up. Scorpius wrapped his legs around Al's waist, pulling himself as close to Al as possible. He had missed Al, his touch, his taste, his sounds, his everything. He had been so close to losing everything, and now… he had it all back.

Al walked back over to Scorpius's bed, without stopping the kiss. He sat Scorpius down on the bed, and the blond scooted backwards to rest his head on the pillows. Al laid down on top of him, and Scorpius spread his legs so that Al was rested comfortably between them as they kissed, tongues invading one another's mouths.

"Al… Al…" Scorpius panted against Al's lips. "Wait…" Al drew back, looking concernedly down at him. "I love you, Al," Scorpius whispered, staring into green eyes.

Al leaned down, pecking his lips. "Scorpius Malfoy… I love you," he smiled softly down at the blond.

"Don't stop," Scorpius said, pulling Al back down. "Don't stop kissing me."

**AN: Ah! Yay! My boys are back together! *squeals loudly* Not so much of a cliffhanger… but there will be more to come! So let that strike fear into your hearts.**

**Reviews are candy and love and happiness! So review! Because reviews make me type a lot faster and that means faster updates and that means more drama and most importantly, more Al/Scorpius action. And who doesn't want that? Well, aside from Dan Gaither I mean.**


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